Dissilusionment.

[Teo]

We all were kids, and some of us are still kids, and I'm pretty sure we all had a belief in Santa, the Easter bunny, and that we read all those pretty colorful picture books, stayed at daycares with nice people to watch over us...

...but when was the first time you stepped out of that little bubble? What did you realize as the horrible truth that it was? Was it when you found "Santa"'s toys destined to you hidden in a closet? Did you set down your Cat in the Hat book and happen to gaze at a newspaper that said, "3 Dead in accident, dozens injured"? When was the first time you stopped believing in something, and saw it for what it was?

For me, as well as many people, it was when I found my Santa toys in a closet. They were all what I had wanted for Christmas that year, and they were just...there. I realized that Santa wasn't real, and that those movies showing a Jolly man in a red suit, telling you to 'believe' were... junk.

[Chilaquiles]

I guess I stepped out of that bubble when I really thought about it. I mean, seriously. A fat man in a red suit delivering presents to EVERY little Christian kid in the world all in one night. It's just not possible. Any 7 year old could figure that out.

[Twi]

blood said:

I mean, seriously. A fat man in a red suit delivering presents to EVERY little Christian kid in the world all in one night. It's just not possible. Any 7 year old could figure that out.

And yet my parents still tried to make me believe santa until I was 12, and I'd worked out santa didn't exist at about 6. I never believed in the easter bunny. All the stuff about news and death I was exposed to at an early age, being born at a RAF camp just before the gulf war started, but when i could realise stuff for myself was quite early, I was lucky my parents didn't sugarcoat the questions like "where do babies come from".

[contention]

Ah, the system of Disillusionment; one of the biggest ideas and ordeals in the human way of living. Something that shall inevitably come to cross ever soul, no matter how hard you run, or how deeply you hide.

It's been stated that, every child shall grow into the womb of what our nature is. Starting out young and fresh, you never really realize the world that you live within. Everything feels like a game, something you can play around. You skip to and fro, not noticing the adult actions that form around your hands. As your skin stretches and veins unite, you don't pay attention to morality beneath the flesh. Our minds are filled with the glimmers of satisfaction; we bind ourselves to imagination. It is these years that we live totally behind some sheet, that soft lining to take away the fears. Of course, we do remain scared; but it's not created by some realistic boundary. Monsters and such have never existed, our mind would make them be; keeping us away from the truth. What made us afraid of the dark, the simplistic beauty of the rising moon? Why, stories would be spoken on that note, little tales of beasties beneath your sheets; peeking their heads to and fro. Yet, no we see diffrently; it was never the essence of some unbearable creature, but in fact the matter that we don't understand the value of darkness. Darkness to ourselves is the space where logic can not feel. There is no answer to explain what lurks in the shadows; the only conclusion can be obtained by experience, or something so much more. Of course, as youths we do not realize the meaning of maturity or comprehension. We are pleasant in our own realms, establishing thoughts and connections that raise pleasure within ourselves. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy; while all of them might be but illusions, they are used for important means and functions. They give us something to look forward to, and we never seem to forget them. If you love Christmas and look forward to any holiday in general, such adorations were likely constructed at a very early age.

A strange question many seem to ask, goes along the lines of "Is it better to hide behind the curtain, or step into the crowd?" How do we even know, when the answer becomes most apparent. For all of us, at these ages, know what the world is really made of. We might not fully grasp the subject of death, but we understand what it brings. We know that society is something that follows around civillization; we know where we came from, and how we got to where we are. Things that were barren in our early days, seem so bright in these. Of course, it can't be denied that satisfaction is taken out our lives as we learn and take in more. It comes to our eyes, that what we live is more frail and difficult than what we first thought. When we were young, we would dream of becoming heroes or becoming some astronaut to soar above the clouds. Things like warriors and the impossible were not so, well, impossible. We told ourselves that we could become whatever we wanted to be, and we would never put that fact away. Then, as time began to wrap around our flesh, something came to view. You can't get anywhere in this world unless you are taught how; even then, there is hardly any time to relax. For years your thrown into a system that you must complete, and if you fall out, you will never find a way back in. Even after graduation, College bites at your heels, in these days a Highschool Diploma can get you nowhere. Then we're cast into a picture of the workforce; where everyday is filled to the brim with labor and communication. We are paid to do the duties that we have so long sought, and even then some find themselves doing the jobs they never wanted in the first place. Mistakes can shatter even something as difficult as that; our minds are very complex, so strange that they can break at any moment. You can do something that you'll regret for years on end. From falling in love and throwing away a life you have ahead of you, or granting yourself with a child at an age where you still need to grow. When we were kids, having a family sounded like some immortal gift from above; yet, now we understand that it is built on the basis of money, success, and full attention.

When we were children, was there ever any realization of what laws and systems we were substained to. For it never seemed that way, all our minds would tell us was to do what our parents would say. We never comprehended the fact that their "rules" were based on something much greater. Our bodies were also mysterious figures, things that were out of our feeble imaginations. Our births seemed to come from some heaven above, where we would be brought onto the plains of the Earth. Yet, in truth, we are but forms reproduced out of another, as almost every other mammal in our kingdom. Subjects as perverse as Sex and Arousement were also very foreign and incomplete, they meant nothing to us. We didn't care what the oppisite Sex had on them, it was nothing in our minds. At this age though, especially, the human body is a transfixed part of our lives. For some reason, our hormones change and we begin to want certain things that were at one time "disgusting". It's that maturity, it's the understanding that we are put creatures put on this Earth to live our lifes to what fullest extent that we can. In that time, to give off our values and live by morals. Did we know as children, that something as simplistic as religion was darker than what we knew? When you went to church, did you ever imagine where it formed from? Or did you just go because your parents made you go? Now that you are older, it's not hard to see that almost every religion is a root of some evil. That there is measure of worship intwined with battle between every edge and sickle. Where belief forms that, "Everyone else but our own kind follows a false enigma". No, we would have never wanted that when we were children, it would have been the last thing in our minds.

When you met your first best friend at an early age, did you ever wonder if they were going to turn around and backstab you? Did you even know what being backstabbed meant? When it happened though, you can bet that it would be something you would never forget. For, when we are but little beings, our friends are like gems. We go to their houses, we play their games, and we enjoy their company. Yet, as you start to open your eyes, it comes to attention that they may not be as innocent as they show themselves. In fact, they could be talking wretched phrases about you at every single moment you're away. As well, perhaps you're the one in the shoes of hate; throwing false things about your friends at anyone you can see. How about that first love you had, that dreamy soul you couldn't take your eyes off of? That little crush you felt in your heart, as it slowly would warm and cool at the slight sensation of their hand. Was that even love? Or was it but mere happiness in feeling the emotion. For there is in fact a diffrence between love and the obssesion of love. Love itself is believing in the person you feel for, letting them do what they need to do. Love comes but once a lifetime, and it is for the person in which you can substain yourself with. As you look at them, you see no feelings of envy or jealousy; you only want them to do what they need to do. It takes many slips and falls to reach that point, and you must come to understand that the first person you love won't be the last. This is where is should be stated on the note of obsession. One probelm with many children is the fact that we obsess and not "love". Obsession is when you grow envious of your friends and who they hang out with. It's when you feel like you're going to make it to the very end with your "partner". It's that need to see their body, to hold their hand, that numerous appraisal for physical contact. This is not love, this is thinking you are in love. There is a very major diffrence, and it is something that can not be seen until you make your mistake.

Some adults sit around and mope at times, their sadness is formed in growing up. They can't take the college life, they want to go home and sit with their parents. They want the troubles to wash off their backs and just fade into some oblivion. They don't understand though, that everyone in this world has to change in some way. The world isn't what you want it to be, you can't sit around and dream. You actually have to try to survive in a place that's heavily against you. There are so many people, so many emotions, and so many thoughts that you can't get around. You just have to get along with what you can, keep going, and someday become everything you wanted to. You might not hit your highest goal, and you might fall into the darkest pit; but don't give up on your goals. Even if it does sound corny when some speaker says it, the more goals you have, the easier it is to get somewhere. So don't go into depression, cry away your life at a loss of "love", or sit and stare when things don't go your way. Get over it, forget about it, and just start walking again. Life isn't even that long, you should do what you can with what you got, and not let the fact of your morality bring you to pieces.

[Yoshiken]

Eh, my mom eventually just told me everything was fake, cuz it was getting too much trouble hiding it from everyone XD.

[Zippy]

I can really remember when I figured it out. The thing that secured that Santa wasn't real was when I found all the toys I was to get in the crawl space under the stairwell. But I had suspicions before that, I mean, people don't really do a great job keeping these things secret to little kids (including the TV people). After I was certain, I told my mom and dad about it. That was a bit hard for me to do, I didn't want to have to tell them I knew, I thought it would upset them.

[Lord of the Dance]

Dude, I've seen the Easter Bunny, haha.
Never did hear from him after that, though. I think he's shy, because my parents have given the baskets to me and my siblings themselves since that day.

First time I stepped out of the "bubble"? I don't really remember. I guess it came little by little, especially as I moved to different schools and stuff.

[Andreshi]

When I was 5 or 6. I was watching tv when I heard one character say that Santa, the easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc., said they weren't real. I then asked my mom about it, and she said that they were real, then I asked my older sister, and she said that those were just lies to make kids feel safe and to have an excuse to have them behaved. At the time I didn't want to believe, but I sorta did. It was that the christmas presents that year had the names of who gave them to me that actually made me fully believe it.

[Enrique]

I can't remember when I stopped believing in Santa and the Easter Bunny. It became official when my parents would have me help them pick out my Christmas present (this year, I'm probably going to tell them where to buy the one thing I'm requesting as well) and when my mom asked if I really cared about the chocolate/candy aspect of Easter.

[Ultraloco]

I still beleive in santa but even though I found proof mom and dad are trying to make me not belive.

[Rackinac]

You mean Santa isn't real!? *gaspeth*

No, not really. I'm not so low that I tell my little sister they aren't but then agian, I never say they're real neither. I kinda figured it out. My parents must be very good at hiding them because ever since I was 6 I tried to look for the 'cause I knew he wasn't real. XD Still never found them...

When I was little I was happy to figure out that the Easter Bunny wasn't real. XD He scared me... I figured that out when I was freaking 3 though! My mom's friend's cousin made rabbit footprints at her house and they were so fake it didn't fool me, and I was 3.

The truth is though, it made me sad when I figured it out. Sometimes I wish I was still young, and all these things were still misteries I would never unfold and wonder about, but alas, it's apart of growing up. I'm not ready to grow up. I don't want the stress of school, I miss the good old times were the most stressful thing in your life was nap time. I miss the carefreeness I used to have and was oblivious to the fact that when older, the girls you onced played with insult you for how you act or look, and you are too afraid to tell them that you once shared the same peanut butter crackers. The ones you build toy castes and played imagenary games with now are shallow witches bent on destroying you on the inside out. That depressions kick in because you are smart enough to realize the world is not fair. I miss going to the park not worrying about a classmate spotting you goofing around on the swings. I miss playing with toy dinosaurs with the guys instead of playing dollies with the girls because I was different. Man, I really do miss that kid. My preschool teacher told me that I saved him from staying back... Also, my mom told me resently that when I was little, people thought I had A.D.D. because I glued a macorroni 'A' before the teacher was done speaking. It really bothers me too how grown ups think like that, just because I know how to work glue stick Aperently nowadays anything can be considered A.D.D. Luckily the tests were negative, and I remember how differently they treated me... Aw crud, my eyes are tearing up. Grrrrr! Ignore the emo chameleon...

Enough rambling now. That's my version of growing up anyway. Damnit, my depressions are kicking in agian. *sigh* Time for me to find my emo corner. HUZZAH! *runs to nearest corner*

[Teo]

twilight said:

The truth is though, it made me sad when I figured it out. Sometimes I wish I was still young, and all these things were still misteries I would never unfold and wonder about, but alas, it's apart of growing up. I'm not ready to grow up. I don't want the stress of school, I miss the good old times were the most stressful thing in your life was nap time. I miss the carefreeness I used to have and was oblivious to the fact that when older, the girls you onced played with insult you for how you act or look, and you are too afraid to tell them that you once shared the same peanut butter crackers. The ones you build toy castes and played imagenary games with now are shallow witches bent on destroying you on the inside out. That depressions kick in because you are smart enough to realize the world is not fair. I miss going to the park not worrying about a classmate spotting you goofing around on the swings. I miss playing with toy dinosaurs with the guys instead of playing dollies with the girls because I was different. Man, I really do miss that kid. My preschool teacher told me that I saved him from staying back... Also, my mom told me resently that when I was little, people thought I had A.D.D. because I glued a macorroni 'A' before the teacher was done speaking. It really bothers me too how grown ups think like that, just because I know how to work glue stick Aperently nowadays anything can be considered A.D.D. Luckily the tests were negative, and I remember how differently they treated me...

Ah wow, that sparked me to remember the good ol' days when I was oblivious to almost everything. Where you could pretend to be an adventurer, a pirate... going 'zing! zing!' and clashing sticks against one another... now it's just all so...different. When you grow up like that, everything changes. There's like this bleak line where something's too kiddy for you now or that this is the last time you'll be enjoying this.

I miss those days at the park in France... playing with buddies after school in the sandbox... making little holes and hills... climbing on the jungle gym... wondering what the heck was that big bubble coming out of that kids mouth (later found it was bubble gum).

Now as I grow up, I've started to explore... I learned how to whistle, I learned arithmatic, learned how to snap... and just kept learning and growing. Soon everything was starting to fall to pieces with all this knowledge. I remember asking my mom the question everyone asks, "Where do babies come from?" and other various ones, such as, "Mom, why are you so much bigger than me?" Little things that I would later understand, and I would never look at my buddies again.

I even remember my first bully. Some third grader while I was in first grade. That woke me up. I had felt pain before... we've always been playing in the sandbox or the jungle gym and suddenly... we fall, get sand in our eyes, trip... and there's always someone to help, and no one does it on purpose. This kid though... he was doing it on purpose, and I didn't know why. A few weeks later, I had gotten revenge on him, and had a glowing feeling of dominance in me, how I had overpowered another person... how weird that was... to have been mean to someone and feeling happiness from it. From then...first grade... that little safety bubble burst. I started looking at the world... differently. Slowly learning, slowly growing...

I MISS THOSE DAYS! *sobs*

[Toshi]

I stepped out if that bubble a while back now, i was about 13 i think when i started to not believe in Father Christmas, it was common sense really, he would never be able to travel around the world in one night delivering xmas presents to every single nice kid on the planet. It's just impossible. Also, talking about christian religion here, i -think- Santa Clause is a fictional interpretation of St.Nicholas, i only know so much about it, but back in his existance, he delivered presents to the children of his hometown during Christmas, which gave him the title of "Father Christmas" or "Santa Clause", whichever one it was. Of course, i can only think of so much about this, but please do correct me if i'm wrong about it.

Also, the Easter Bunny was something i've never ever believed in anyway, so that doesn't really make any difference, i knew from the start it was just some way to get kids involved in the religious holiday of Easter.

Anyway, I suppose silly beliefs like that do begin to disappear naturally when you grow up, i guess it has something to do with maturing into an Adult. Yes, kids will be kids, and their imaginations can run wild if they want, but eventually, when they start to reach their mid-teens/late-teens, they'll begin to realise that most of these beliefs are untrue.

[Masakuni]

I guess the bubble was popped for me when I actually heard how parents make you believe that Santa is real. That was when I was 12 though too...yeah, I figured it out late XD

[firespikez]

well i never really believed in santa... it was just abreviation for parents to me XD
but my brother tryed to believe in him and he said: <<if the night moves from a side to the other side of the earth, maybe santa is making it by following the night>>...well... i dont know how to say it but it was hilarous...(he was 4)

[Yoshifrog]

I think I was ten when I stopped- I was reaaaaally gullible when I was little. I couldn't help it- I thrived on believing that sometimes there really were impossible things the were possible just because everyone needed them to be.
That's also the time when overalls stopped looking so appealing- but I'm sure it could have been earlier than that TRIPLE BONUS MULTIPLIER ! !
Yeeees. I'm mature now. No ifs ands or buts LEVEL UP ! !

[Spade]

i never did believe in that junk. i alsways laughed at the possibility of a fat man fitting down a fire place. so, for me, there WAS no bubble to pop. and yet, i believe in stuff like the force. weird....

[anjilfan]

Tch, I stopped when I was eight. There's no way: a rabbit would hide eggs all over the place... a BABY shooting arrows to make people fall in love, some guy could deliver preasents in one night!

[penguinyoshi]

I never believed in the Easter bunny and I have no clue when I figured out Santa.



BTW please read my sig

[vaporshi]

I don't think I ever truly believed in Santa but it was fun to pretend and go along with it. I tried to convince myself that he was real but deep down I knew he wasn't.