God Awful Essays

[Rackinac]

I know, "Stop making topics Gem!" Make me. >:C

I was look through old school work today when I found a few of my old essays from 2nd grade and then hung my head in shame and started cracking up so bad I started crying.

I, in all seriousness, wrote a story about a girl who is a scientist that has a pet shark-dog that had a jet pack with her best friend, aka secret lover, who is a red haired half-white half-black and a little mexican zombie and flew around to save the world.

I think it was the best story ever. Once I stared reading it all the memories came back. I should draw them. They were the best team ever. In the story their names were Lilah, Fredrick(Fred or rick, it was... both) and the shark-dog's name was Jaws to Lilah and Rex to Fredrick aka Fred or Rick.

That, and even though I can't find it, wrote an elaborate story about a black and yellow alligator who killed this girls parents because she was grounded. They lived happily ever after.

I remember I wrote some stupid crap about a dragon that I ripped off, but now I can't find it or remember what it was about. It's that bad.

So look around through your old school crap and see what you find. It's good for a laugh. :3

EDIT: Oh yeah his name was Fred and Rick because that was the name of the two bodies that Lilah sewn together and brought to life! Fredrick! I was a witty kid. :3

[Toshi]

For a start, you're making a contribution for the good of this place, keep making topics as much as you want.

Anyway, I did manage to rake through my old work, and I pulled out an essay for English in year 9, I think. We had to write a story, just anything would do. It was that bad, I got a C- for it. I'd written it out, but to indicate when characters spoke, I wrote out their speech in different colours relating to who was who. I wrote some superhero tale about 4 heroes, the world was going to be destroyed, and they ran in to stop an evil scientist from succeeding. It was that badly written and executed, I laughed. No wonder I got a C- for it.

I've just this second thrown it out, because man, nobody wants to see what my brain can really accomplish. It's quite embarrassing.

[Yoshi]

Too bad, I only seem to have salvaged four essays of mine from highschool. Creative writing stuff, not too interesting, 'cept for this one I have here. It's all about a fictional raid on a research facility by animal rights extremists.

“Dey was tryin’ to hide da fact dat dey KILL, murda, alla dese cats, dogs, puppies and kittens.” Claims local activist, Tyronda Chandelier. “We wasn’t gonna let dem get away wit it no mo’!” She then turned to one of the two saved rabbits, adding “Awww… we won’t wet dem hurt you, little shnookum wookems.”

Weehee.