Can intelligent people be retarded socially?

[Rackinac]

Found this on another forum and the idea is pretty weird to me. Hasn't everyone noticed that the brightest of us are socially akwerd- while the more... average people tend to be more social and relaxed? How about this- can people choose whether to be smart and a hermit or average and sociable?

I was, was being the key word, the smartest kid in my class. I got all As. If I got a B I would work insanely hard to get that grade up. I had honors and won awards... But I never talked to anyone. I had one friend and she was the same way. And by friend, I mean the one and only person who would talk to me. I was smart... but not happy. I didn't care for my appearance. I wouldn't care about common conversation.

Then, in 8th grade I made 4 new friends. Almost instantly I stopped doing homework, stopped caring about learning and started caring about what I look like. I became a class clown, my grades dropped to Cs. I was lucky to get a B. Hanging out became a priority. I was and am happy, I just wish I was... smart? This continues to this day.

Now... is there a possiblity that someone smart can be social? Of course. But the majority tend to be just because they constantly think about other things and that socialness isn't important. Can someone be normal and unsocial? Of course. It's just that, from my viewpoint and experience, that it's hard to do both.

Opinions, facts, ect?

[Enrique]

I am actually one of those bookworm-types (I have to be in order to survive in the UAlbany atmospheric sciences program). However, back home I always had people to hang out with and whatnot. I actually had dozens upon dozens of friends - albeit my idea of "friend" is loosely defined as a person I'm acquainted with, get along with, can have an intelligent conversation with, and even hang out/chill with. In the same breath, I don't like going to parties all that much. I can't stand being at a party of some sort for longer than 2 hours, mainly because all everyone ever does is sit and talk, and I have better things that I could do.

Is it possible for the intellectually gifted to be social? Absolutely. I had a friend like that. [Caveat: He had a dad who taught him just about everything one would need to know about physics and elementary calculus by the time he was 16; he also had a knack for not doing his homework, so he wasn't the academic gung-ho like I was]

From my personal view on things, I don't see how the "high school gossip" crap could ever be important. It must be the more social people who are bored because it's 2 in the afternoon and we all know that nothing else occurs at that time. In addition, I see the popularity of Internet memes as absolutely baffling. At the same time, I find stuff like LaTeX (a typesetting format), Linux, and calculus to be interesting and exciting.

So I've already started about thinking about setting up a cot in the Earth Science & Mathematics building here at UAlbany next year. Well, shoot me for my nerdiness.

[Rackinac]

Heh, I wish I had that mindset. I'm a bit worried about my acedemic downfall. I've been trying though... I guess I need to work my way and try to keep socialness important at the same time.

[Shoe]

I agree wholeheartedly with Enrique about the highschool drama crap (see more on that below! ) and the internet memes. I'm the kind of person who actually enjoys being different, and I try to be (it isn't that hard, trust me). Not in the sense that I make a fool out of myself, of course (at least not outside the internet, haha). As for my opinion; definitely. I've been called intelligent on numerous occasions, and I still hold up a good social status. I have several extraordinary friends outside the internet, and some others who I can at least just have a decent conversation with. I suppose being an optimist helps? Now something to say just to get off my chest:

A friend of mine was suffering because of some highschool drama not too long ago. Her fiance was dumping her because some guy said she was dirty in a certain way, and as far as I know, she isn't like that. I gave her all the advice I could, but she seemed too caught up in losing the last living man in the world. Whether she took that advice or not, it was resolved thankfully, but I sort of respect her less now; I thought she was the kind of strong-willed person, and yet she falls to pieces over this kind of thing. It's just highschool, guys. It's not the end of the road unless its chosen to be (God forbid).

[Bass]

I dunno. I'm pretty smart, in honours classes, get straight As, win awards, crap like that. But I've got plenty of friends (using the term loosely like Enrique). It's just hard for me to talk to people I don't know. If I kinda loosely know them, like, I know what kind of person they are it's better but if there's a total stranger in front of me I'm just like, "Um, hi?"

So yeah. Basically, I made one friend. He had like, 2 others, they had 2 more, and so on. That's how I make friends, by HAVING friends. It's weird.

So I guess I'm smart and somewhat socially awkward.

But you know, I kinda wish I had more time to actually, you know, DO things with said friends. Or rather I should say FREEDOM. I'm 16, and my parents refuse to let me have a cell phone, email, IM, or any other form of communication really. I'm not allowed out by myself, even during the day, in a little town comprised of 50,000 retirees.

Ironically, I never do my homework when I'm supposed to. I just screw around until like 2 in the morning and either finish it then or just before class starts. And I always end up finishing and doing well. </offtopic>

[Garr]

I've met smart social people.

They usually end up being a businessman or a lawyer or something equally as requiring in both faculties.

[Marik]

Well, there may be certain reasons why people are socially -retarded-. It may have to do with certain mental ailments, or maybe they are really shy, or suffered a lot of abuse growing up.

I'm sure that if people acted more friendly towards one another, we wouldn't really have this problem... or rather, this problem wouldn't be as big.....

[Yoshistar C. Baxter]

Sept 10, 2008 12:35:18 GMT -5 Marik said:

Well, there may be certain reasons why people are socially -retarded-. It may have to do with certain mental ailments, or maybe they are really shy, or suffered a lot of abuse growing up.

Wow... all three of those reasons relate to me. ._.

I'm smart in terms of doing schoolwork, but I can't start up a good conversation with anyone even if my life depended on it. I have ADD, so my attention jumps from distraction to distraction, or sometimes I don't even know what the hey I'm saying...

I only have two friends outside the Net to hang out with... and it's not often I get to do that, either. It's a miracle I had the determination to finish high school last June, because I had a seriously horrible time in middle school (and also in the past, but I'd rather not talk about it here for now). Oddly enough, that's the exact time where I discovered my artistic talent, which made me the reclusive oddball of the entire school (and that's saying a lot when grades are 6th through 12th). You can only imagine what I've been through in that era...

I'm 20 now, and, even though I'm growing a bit more confident in living among others, I'm still a reclusive oddball. I don't dress like everyone else, I don't like the things everyone else does, and I try my best to stay unique, even if people hate me for it or little to no reason.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm making sense here... see what I mean?