videogames

[TheBlackMegaman]

what are the most funniest lines you`ve read in a game?

mine are from the game

lost vikings 2

1---------------------------------
after being teleported into a jungle

baleog:AAARGH! why did you say jungle olaf?! what is your major malfunction

olaf:dont blame me, life is like a box of choclates

baleog:yeah your mouth gets goin and nobody else gets a chance

2---------------------------------
olaf:i`m sick of teleporting!! why do we always have to teleport to another place?!

erik:i dont know, ask the game designers

olaf:what?


3---------------------------------
scorch: olaf the fantastic ey?

olaf:i didn`t mean, i didn`t want us to go to this jungle!

scorch:i`m saving a fireball for you porky


well, all these are from one game
but you guys can name numerous game if you`d like

[Yoshi]

i can't think of one XD

[teh yoshi]

There are lots I remember reading in all the Banjo-Kazooie series. Ah, those games cracked me up.
Conker's Bad Fur Day is pretty funny, too, but I've never played that game much, anyway. The humor can also get too blatant at times, too.

[PinkFloydYoshi]

"Someone somewhere can detonate these bombs! So it should be OK if we beat him up."

From the amusingly badly translated Crisis Beat for the PlayStation.

[Lazo]

Command and Conquer Generals has, by far, the best lines of all time, Including (but not limited too)...

GLA Worker: Can I have some shoes?
GLA RPG trooper: Quick! Wish me a blessing!
GLA Scorpion Tank: INFIDEL!
China Minigunner: Bullets for everyone!
China Assault Troop Crawler: Ready for a drive-by boys?
China Helix 2: We're going to ruin somebody's day!
China Tank Hunter: I didn't sign up for this!


Nuclear General^1.
: Aah! I think this is your half-life General, Ha!
: Aah, I see your power is down, General. Should I send you some nu-clear energy? Hawhawhawhawhaw!
: Five nukes? Maybe you want me to send you a clean pair of shorts now, hahaha.

Toxin General
: Prepare to tell your three-eyed grandchildren of your defeat this day!
: One taske, and you'll never go back, even if you WANTED to!
: You will come for the toxin, but you'll stay... because you're dead! Hee-hee-hehe!

_{1. In the expansion, enemy generals taunt you. When you lose, you do end up taking it personally. The Nuke and Toxin generals are the most insane.}

[Graedius]

"You Spoony Bard!"

[Darkmark]

The jokes when you use the "Humour" Navicust program in MMBN3... well...

Megaman: Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. One of them trips and falls, and his friend says, "Are you OK?". "I dunno. I think I lost my electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"
Lan: Agggggghhhhhh!

MM: Lan! Lan! Viruses were trying to steal your files!
Lan: What!? Which way did they go?
MM: They went data way!
Lan: ...
MM: Sorry...

MM: I read that flowers were preserved in King Tut's tomb!
Lan: Really? What kind?
MM: Chrysanthemummies!
Lan: ...hahahahaha!

MM: Did you hear about Yai's online origami store?
Lan: No, what happened?
MM: It folded.
Lan: One more like that, and I'm pulling out your batteries!

MM: During the bubblewash incident in Mayl's kitchen, I heard Ms. Mari singing!
Lan: Oh yeah? What was she singing?
MM: "Fo--am, foam on the ra----nge"!
Lan: I wonder if this Humor program is really working...

MM: Goethe was a German poet who only wrote just after waking!
Lan: Really?
MM: Yeah. He went from bed to verse!!

Lan: Megaman, I think you really need to work on your jokes...
MM: Apparently a lot of people agree with you... I sent in ten of my puns to an online contest!
Lan: Really? How many of them won a prize?
MM: No pun in ten did!
(Get it? No pun in ten did = No pun intended!)

MM: You know Einstein's famous equation, E=mc², right?
Lan: Yeah? So?
MM: Well, one of his students could never remember it. He always wrote E=m2c instead of E=mc². So he went to ask which is right, but he was so nervous that he spoke in a small, stammering voice. "Speak up!" said Einstein, "Vat is it you are askink?" So the student shouted, "2c or not 2c! That is the question!"
Lan: C you later, Megaman!

MM: Knock, knock!
Lan: Who's there?
MM: Dwayne!
Lan: Dwayne who?
MM: (As a small child) Dwayne da baftub! I'm dwowning!
Lan: The joke was bad, but that was a great impersonation!

Lan: The boa constrictors at the zoo sure are in love, huh?
MM: I dunno. They may just have a crush on each other.

MM: I was chatting with a Mashy the other day!
Lan: You mean the virus that looks like a mushroom? Aren't they dangerous?
MM: They normally are, but he was a pretty fungi!
Lan: That joke is in really spore taste, Megaman...

MM: I heard that Yai's house was burgled!
Lan: That's terrible! Didn't they lock the door?
MM: Yeah, but somebody got intruder window!

MM: Lan! Want to see my impersonation of a PET's grandfather?
Lan: OK, sure!
MM: C:>
Lan: ...cute!

Lan: Hey, Megaman! Could you help me with a geometry problem?
MM: Sure, what's the problem?
Lan: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack o' Lantern by its diameter?
MM: That's easy! Pumpkin pi!!
Lan: ... ... ...
Lan: Okay, but if I get points off, it's your fault!

MM: What did the man selling blind deer tell his customers?
Lan: I have no eye-deer!
MM: Oh, you've heard that one.
Lan: Heard what one?

[ShroudedYoshi]

Great! I've got some good ones. Despite the loss of my hand-eye coordination, I'm still pretty talented at painting words onto grains of rice.

"Don't break out the joy lube just yet."
-Colonel Alloy, Metal Arms: Glitch in the System

"Why do I keep on being sent to rescue people who are already rescued!"
-Glitch, Metal Arms: Glitch in the System

"Babysitter look hard."
-Kongol, Legend of Dragoon

"I am a TREASURE HUNTER not a thief!"
- Locke, FF6

"That guy's a maniac. Why'd he bite me?"
Truck Driver, Resident Evil 2

[sakura]

omg! I love the mm jokes rotflmao! (cept i'm in school and everyone would just laff at me if i did that...)

[Darkmark]

BADAMF! zanyvgquotes.com/

Be careful, though; not all the quotes (or insinuations related to them, or the games they were taken from) are what you would call 'family friendly'. I'd give that place a PG-13 rating... but it's still pretty funny. Most of the time.

[Toshi]

This one is from Tales of Symphonia!

Teacher: Ok, i'll read out the scores from your test...Lloyd...25

Lloyd: Yeah!

Collette: Wow Lloyd, your best score yet!

Lloyd: I know

Teacher: Collette...210

Lloyd: ...wait, it aint out of 100?

Genis: Its out of 400 Lloyd!

Lloyd: ...oh...

-----------------------------------

and another...

*after falling from the sky*

Lloyd: Wow, can we do that again! That was so cool

Raine: I hate to admit it, but it was quite amusing!

Lloyd: Yeah, no one can say that they have been flying on a dragon

Genis: No one can say they've fallen from the sky either!

Lloyd: ...shut up Genis...

[Moot]

"You, the master of unlocking." -- Resident Evil

[Pink Yoshi]

X-Naut: You rand, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, sir Grodus, dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?
Grodus: Shut up, fool.

Bowser: Ahh... MAN, am I attractice! Everytime I look at this, im overwhelmed by its coolness! When I take over the world, im gonna stick these statues all OVER the place! Yeah! Boy... Do I even HAVE a less handsome side? Any way you look at this, it's perfect! When the world is mine, these statues are gonna be the mandatory in all households!

X-Naut: Huh? Sniff! Snort! SNIIIIIIIIIIFFF! Do you smell that, dude? What a weird smell.. Sniff! SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOORFFF! You smell... Nice. That is just wrong, dude.

All from Paper Mario 2 XD

[Yoshiken]

worker 8: "what is your command"
Mustadio: "Hurry up Ramza give it a command"
Ramza: "uhhhhh....dance?"
worker 8: *starts dancing*
Mustadio: "GIVE IT ANOTHER ONE"
Ramza: "ummm....beat up mustadio?"
Mustadio: "WHAT!!.....AHHHHHH *is beaten up*"
Ramza: "AHHHHHHH!!! SOMEONE GIVE ME A PHEONIX DOWN QUICK!!!"
~final fantasy tactics~

[Gene L.D. Ryoko]

when in doubt, take the stick out
~tak- tak and the power of juju

[every thing the dead juju says]
~dead juju- tak and the power of juju

two headed juju head1: pull my finger.
two headed juju head2: no!
two headed juju head1: PULL MY FINGER!
two headed juju head2: NO!
*he farts real bad thus blowing a hole in a cliff*
~two headed juju- tak and the power of juju

watt: how can we beat this meanie now,mario.
~watt- paper mario. vs. bowser part 2

kolorado: don't worrie old bean i'll save you.
*runs into lava*
kolorado: sorry your on your own.
~kolorado- paper mario. vs. lava piranah part 2

[red.yoshi]

Joe: Duck!!!
Mack: *ducks* duck?
Big giant evil scary bird: QUACK!
~joe and mack

comment: i forget who says what. yea, pretty corny huh

[Pink Yoshi]

XD Its a good joke, but I think its overused..

[Rainbow Yoshi]

Grunty: I've got just the spell! You'll be sorry you ever messed with the mighty Gruntilda Winkybunion!

Banjo (or Kazooie. I can't remember:P): Winkybunion? Is that your last name?

Grunty: No. But don't tell anyone, or I'll sue you.
~ Banjo-Tooie



I can't remember if that's exactly what they said but it was something like that.

[Fifth]

This is from Popful Mail.
It's just after rescuing a Gaw (weird, squat, dragon-like creature) from a boss. When you talk to him back at the "village," he says, very grateful:

"Thanks for saving me from that fix back there! These're fer you. Take 'em! Go on, take 'em!"

And so he gives you a bunch of bananas, which is a really good healing item. Then, if you try to talk to him again... well:

"What in tarnation d'y'all expect me to give you now? I done gave you my best bananas. I ain't got nothing left! I give, and I give... and it ain't ever enough fer you city folk. Save a man's life once and ye think ya own him. Well let me tell you something: I ain't NEVER been no one's slave, and I ain't fixin' to start now! So jus' TAKE yer bananas, and LEAVE ME BE!"

Ah, that's such an awesome game...

[Chaos]

Cid from ff7

Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and drink your goddamn TEA!"

"Yeah. Anyone stupid enough to go up against Shinra nowadays, has GOTTA be a numskull! I like it!"

You stupid &$#&%*%&%#!!"

"Maybe it's just me, but has this ship been remodeled without me knowin' it? All these switches and levers. They're kinda gettin' to me."

"......ZZZZ...... hmph?"

"Oh, Lady Luck don't fail me now... "


"Hoo-ok......! I can't be foolin' around in the bottom of this hell hole...I still have lots of stuff to do with my life!"

Vincent

Hit the brakes, Chief."

"I don't care what you're doing, so much as the idiotic way you're doing it…"

"I'm not very mechanical, but it seems like we're starting to move."

First the ocean, now the air…What a busy day

"Kill Sephiroth…killing the son of my beloved woman…"
"Am I on the verge committing another sin?"
"Or am I atoning as best I can for only standing by

"You……!"
"…"
"I was…wrong. The one who should have slept was…"
"…You, Hojo!"
-To Hojo

"Cloud…take the ship to the Northern Cave."
"The time for flying is now past."
"Our battlefield is now beneath the earth…"
"The gate to tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness of the depths of the earth."