NA: Pain Of Sorrow

[nate]

yes! I just finshed the first chapter. Sorry for some people that were kinda exicted about this. *looks at people sleeping, playing DS, and all that* Well, eh hem. Yeah. Here it is.


Interduction

Inside this cave, filled with fire, death, and skeletons had a aincent rock. This Rock wasnt some dumb old Rock. It was some kind of a Rock that No one knew what it did. Meanwhile, At the entrance. Rocks started to crumble. Out came one little yoshi. It had a helmet on. It had scars. You might have seen this yoshi from the past few years, I suppose. It was Lava. Lava yosh. He was heading towards the Rock. But, He couldent do it that easly. Monsters raged around it. Lava was pretty powerfull enough to get through them. When he came to them, he just bursted some power out of his hands and continued. Soon, he got to the Rock. "Ah. There it is. Lemme see what it can do." Whispered Lava. He touched the rock symbol with his fingers. Soon it started to glow. Lava backed away, and soon, The Rock blew up. Out came a weird looking star that was foggy...What was this? Lava snatched the star, and couldent belive what he saw....

~End of Enterduction~

[Wildfire the Dragon]

Suspenseful...
Nice Introduction Nate, can't wait to see the next chapter.

[UMS Author Lava]

Oh my! What am I doing stealing a star?!

[nate]

you didnt really steal the star, you just found it on a map.

[Leoshi]

Wow, cool intro, and I like the use of suspense! I can wait to see more!

[UMS Author Lava]

nate said:

you didnt really steal the star, you just found it on a map.

But it said "Lava snatched the star", didn't it?

[Teo]

Grab or snatch, it's the same thing

Good start Nate! Keep it going and we might have another story here!