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Post by red.yoshi on Jul 28, 2005 18:21:58 GMT -5
first of all, id like to say that im so happy that this section finally came through! i bet its going to be very popular. this poem was for electric, so please dont critque. running, close behind you, secretly. quietly, swiftly grabbing you with both arms. embracing you. fast breathing breaks the night's still silence. taking you, pinning you against the ground. fast breathing. i turn you over, hoist you on top of me. lips meet lips, tounge meets tongue. happily we kiss in the silent, rainy night sorry if this wasnt appropriate delete it if you must. i have another poem around, i think its saved on my other computer. it might be a little more appropriate.
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Post by Dragon on Jul 28, 2005 20:51:50 GMT -5
I like it, it was very descriptive and painted a good picture of what you were saying into my mind, I like it!
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Jul 29, 2005 10:23:34 GMT -5
Calm down, Red. I don't think it sounds like you're...you know. It sounds more like you and Electric are just embracing the moment. Actually, poetry like this is pretty touching.
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Post by red.yoshi on Jul 29, 2005 19:01:34 GMT -5
thanks guys. i didnt mean it to sound...wrong in anyway, altho it wouldnt be wrong (Actually it would, until we come of age)
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Post by Enrique on Jul 29, 2005 21:03:21 GMT -5
You did a very well job on it, Red! It is quite touching.
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Jul 31, 2005 13:11:12 GMT -5
Hey Red, mind if I make a mini-comic of this poem with you and Electric? It'll be appropriate, don't worry!
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Post by red.yoshi on Jul 31, 2005 19:34:12 GMT -5
i dont care, go ahead!
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Aug 2, 2005 15:52:07 GMT -5
OK, just finished it. Note that in the last panel, Red and Electric are actually side-by-side. [shadow=blue,left,300]And the pretty comets.[/shadow]
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Post by Enrique on Aug 2, 2005 17:28:39 GMT -5
Awww... that's so cute, Lava... And it goes very well with Red's poem!
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Post by moshi5694 on Aug 2, 2005 19:45:31 GMT -5
For once the nose didn't get in the way.XD
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Aug 2, 2005 21:31:46 GMT -5
For once the nose didn't get in the way.XD Lol. Yes, the comic goes very well with the poem. Very well drawn.
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Aug 2, 2005 21:41:25 GMT -5
Thank U people!
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Post by Yoshi on Aug 4, 2005 7:54:40 GMT -5
Quagmire: Let's have sex! XD
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Post by Wildfire the Dragon on Aug 4, 2005 8:05:25 GMT -5
Quagmire: Let's have sex! XD Wtf? XD LOL! You got that from that commerical when most of the people of Family Guy pounding the crap out of each other? Anyway, That's a really nice poem. I think it kinda cute. Electric will love it.
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Post by red.yoshi on Aug 4, 2005 12:44:57 GMT -5
the comic or the poem? i showed her the poem before posting it here on yc ^^. thank you lava! its great!
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