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Post by Rackinac on Oct 15, 2006 19:01:22 GMT -5
I lay awake in my bed Haunted by these dreams. People say it is all in my head That it isn't what it seems.
Vivid forest as far as I can see Violet skies and crimson grass. Clouds of orange cotton candy Blue trees, yellow leaves in a mass.
Sleep tight Sweet dreams Good night
A magnificent sound is heard afar A beautiful symphony of sounds. Beautiful but most bizarre I begin to search the forest grounds.
I stumble upon a horrific bird Or so that is what it seems. It was the source of what I heard It is the monster of my dreams.
Sleep tight Sweet dreams Good night
Skulled face, button eyes, and sharp claws Feathered wings, both fur and scales. The whole world seemed to pause Trying to pick up all the details.
How can something like this monstrocity Have such an amazing voice as such? One look and you'd think it is an atrocity But do looks really matter that much?
Sleep tight Sweet dreams Good night
I wake up, somewhere between Imagination and reality. No one knows what I seen I'm caught between my morality.
Sleep tight Sweet dreams Good night... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just some ramblings. You can move along now. >> Just a poem, just a poem... It's kinda hard to make sence of it, since it's based off of my mind and dreams. I added Fred (Forrest) in there 'cause I had too... >> I HAVE ALSO DISCOVERD THE MANY USES OF AND ONLINE RYMING DICTIONARY! :3~
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Post by Yoshifrog on Oct 15, 2006 20:03:06 GMT -5
Very well done ^^ I absolutely love the details you used. Yes, very descriptive and very creepy 0_o Very nice imagery too, I could just see the orange cotton candy :9 My only critique is there were a few places that went a little out of beat, like in this stanza- Vivid forest as far as I can see Violet skies and crimson grass. Clouds of orange cotton candy Blue trees with yellow leaves in a mass.
Each line seems to line up quite well, but the last line doesn't really flow.
Besides that, I loved it, great job!
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