Being Kicked when You're Down

[Yoshifrog]

This was written to show the effects of peer pressure... more importantly this might give you and idea of why shy people are what they are. They are afraid that people who don't respect what they say will bring them grief, so they stay locked up not wanting to make a bad impression.
My rhyming was a little off on this one.
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I am not familiar with peer pressure…

I am me- I am shy. I am wary.
I find those losers to be pretty scary
I want nothing to do with the druggies and fools
I think that it’s useless to do bad in school

I am good, I am right
I do not want to fight
I think deep, I am strong
I can always move on…

No one can change that.

I am familiar with peer pressure…

I do not speak. I do not tell.
I'm innocence locked in a cell
I do not want to make the wrong impression
I always pay heed to my classmate’s discretion

I wear the right clothes
I say the right things
I go with the flow
Despite what it brings

My heart is closed up
I say not what I mean
I am not who I am
The true me no one’s seen…

I have never before truly spoken my mind
Nobody knows if I’m lethal or kind
I refuse to say so because if I dare
I’ll be kicked when I’m down by the ones in despair

The ones who deny that my feelings are true
The ones that respect no other’s beliefs
The ones who believe we must all be the same
The ones who let loose all their grief

I am not one…

I am whoever I want to be.
No one has to know.
For if they do…
They’ll kick me when I’m down.

[Chilaquiles]

I know exactly what you mean here. I was sort of lumbering out of that shy stage a couple years ago, and now I'm becoming less and less shy by the day.

So weird, I don't read the writing section much. I just happened to click on one of these and found something quite fascinating, something I can really understand.

There's only one negative thing I see here, and it's there are a few places in the writing that sound slightly odd and unnatural when spoken. For instance: "I do not speak. I do not tell.
I do not speak when I feel unwell" It's a good rhyme, I just don't think you should have used the word speak twice so close together because it sounds a little funky, it's really a personal irk, but I try my best to at least provide some critique.

Now, the good points. I think you pretty much nailed down the reason the average shy person is so shy, because I too, once felt that exact same way, and it's so strange to see someone else pick all the correct words to describe the feeling. I also like the choice of words, here. Words like discretion, despair, and even grief I don't hear and see very often. You found a place for them to fit and flow perfectly. For the most part, the entire piece flows smoothly, with excellent rhyming. A strong sense of rhythm is also present here, recite it to yourself and you'll see what I mean. This seems like a piece that would come so naturally to someone, instead of something forced and rushed. It's beautiful work of poetry and I very much admire the skill and emotion you dumped into it.

Overall, this is some great writing, kudos, Yoshifrog!

[Yoshifrog]

Thanks. It's good to know someone agrees with me, and thanks for the critique, when I wrote it I too was iffy on that line but couldn't think of a rhyme that expressed what I meant. So I tried to fix it, if it isn't too sloppy TRIPLE BONUS MULTIPLIER ! !