The Numbers I See

[Rackinac]

Kinda poetic, kinda story like. Not really. D: Inspired by Nickleback's 'Savin' Me' song.


I see these numbers on their heads
I don't know what they mean at all
Always counting down, never up
Slowly, but surly to reach zero

I now know what these numbers mean
It started when I was crossing a street
A mans numbers were almost to the bottom
He never saw that truck coming at him

I can see peoples lives ticking away
But there is nothing I can do about it
I can not meddle with the time stream
I just watch as they all die, one by one

My friends time was almost up
The billboard overhead shook loose
I decided to meddle, despite the rule
Pushed him and I out of the way

His numbers went up, good and high
But this could not go by unpunished
I no longer see the numbers at all
My friend now carries that burden

[Yoshifrog]

Very nice, bravo ^^ I love the way it makes you think about how we have a set time to die. I watched a creepy movie where this lady gets a vision of a car crash about to happen, and saves the people in it from death, and because they were meant to die, they start getting picked off, one by one, in the worst ways possible. Dum dum dum.
Very nice though. My only critique is that it is a little choppy in some places. There's a few out-of-rythem spots.
Oh, and btw, if I posted my poem at 4 oclock (or somewhere near then) and since this was posted 3 hours before, how is it at the top of the row? (Well, because I posted, duh, but before then it was still here TRIPLE BONUS MULTIPLIER ! !)