Waters Only Rose

[Contention]

The lake will break
In the wake;
Bumble, rumble,
Twist and tumble.

River float,
Without a boat;
Trickle, sickle,
Dry and fickle.

Rising yeast,
With no feast;
Mother’s mirth
Betray the Earth.

Upward light,
Burning bright;
Golden horde,
Shining Lord.

Glimmer spray
Wash away;
Glazing finger,
Darkness linger.

Ding-a-ring,
Sprouting spring;
Violet bell
Thrown through Hell.

Soil pierce,
With petal fierce;
Cracking sound,
Underground.

Trance the roses,
Singe their noses;
Bleeding yellow,
Murk and mellow.

Sunlight fed,
Now is dead;
Leaking out,
Round about.

Fed by lies:
Bluest skies;
Raining shroud,
Heavy cloud.

Letting loose
The woven noose;
Falling fast
Into the past.

Over tide,
Lovers bide;
Dancing rain,
Pitter-pain.

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This poem, in the literal sense of things; sprouted from nowhere, and eventually worked itself to where it now sits. Here, in it's strange format. Out of many poems; this one seems to fall apart in countless places. Or at least, what is percieved. The meaning itself, is bound somewhat in the words; it's more metaphorical than many. There is no actual tied sentence, as much as it is a listing of scenes and ideas; all blending together. Yet, it follows more on a line of something deep. Instead of blantantly reading through to see the images; it goes farther. The colors also play their own role, not just the actions or the subjects that complete in them. Simply put, the "objective" from afar seems to be that of a lake/water, a rose, and sunlight. One which is blue, the other red, and one yellow. However, the rose should not be percieved as much for color as it should be for symbolism.

The poem begins by stating, in stanza one; that the lake is breaking in the wake. Or what that may seem to come to be. It further gives a sense of sound, something to addition. The second stanza is more obvious, stating that the river floats without a boat. Somewhat peculiar, also a sign of loss of water. Figment wise; the whole poem explains a lack of water. A lack of the color blue, a less view of it. Something that's missing about the whole need for thirst. Then, the sunlight seems to carry it's own type of dominance; weighing the land in it's heat. Going on to explain that it is the lord, with it's minions; running over the Earth. Mother Nature's water, a source of life; has gone missing. In a sense, our own maternal savior would have betrayed us; left us to die.

A line farther on, that mentions "Glazing finger/ Darkness linger", is somewhat out of the poem; more sent onto the natural way of things. Even when the sunlight leaves its mark on the Earth; it must sometime fade, and in it's place, blackness comes. To swipe down and consume everything. Thus, that line finds entrance. The bell is just another addition; it's color however is not. The violet bell ringing, brings about love. Or, in a sense, the red rose. This red rose is singed; heated, not normal as all the others. Yet, it bleeds yellow; another symbolic color. This yellow though, is not bright; not as the sun. It's darker, murky, like mud. Something dirty, something unwanted. Then, with entrance; the water finds its true part. The rose, which is fed in lies; the color of blue. The thing that makes it grow, the only thing it knows. The only thing it lets itself know.

The mention of the falling rain as a noose leads into something as well; all of it can be taken in it's own way. Yet, in it's own laid out format. What once was there, was gone; and sunlight took it's place, it had just as much reason as water did. It gave the flower, just as much as water could. Then, in an instance; when love sprouted, the sunlight turned sour. It wasn't wanted, and the rose reacted; claiming for water. And water it got, and in perception; this is seen as drowning.

[roshie]

And again, you have great writing potential. This was very dramatic. My personal suggestion for you is to take the randomness out. But as you all know, who am i to judge our good old contention, haha. I'm no writer, but i do know great writing potential when i see it, hehe.

keep up the awesome work conte. :D