What the monkey ment

[Fifth]

Um... This story was a sort of open-ended multi-person thing from another board. I'm posting it here 'cause, well... I thought it was fun to write, and I don't want to forget about it.
For reference, this was made after Paper Mario, but before the Gamecube.
Anyway... I'll put each section's author in italics:

Bow

Luigi looked blankly into the sky, thinking of all the adventures Mario had had since 1981. He wondered why he hadn't had any. sudenly he saw a big purple monkey, it said in it's native tongue "%&*)(&*BXDF^%$#^*#"
*I like pepperoni pizza* now only two things remained unclear to Luigi, what did this mean, and was it true?

CHAPTER 1- Luigi looks in the library to find a book that says what the monkey said

Fifth

Luigi started out on this "quest" of his, this quest that seemed a most normal, simple, mundane, routine, run-of-the-mill-type quest; he quested to understand the words of the great purple monkey and to divine from them the reason why he hadn't been on any true adventures for all of two decades. Little did he know exactly what was in store for him when he set out that fateful friday morn...

He knew where to go for information of this sort: The Great Mushroom Library. He set out at once, taking nothing but his plumbing uniform and an optomistic outlook.
He soon reached the library's whereabouts: the crossroads of Knowledge Road and One Way. Unfortunately, what he saw was not reassuring.

It was a small mushroom shack, with a crude sign that said "Books hear" and an open counter, manned by a rather close-to-earth looking toad.
"Hey.." started Luigi, "is this, uh.. the Mushroom library?"
"Well ahl be!" Beplied the fungus, "'taint you that Mahryo fellah's brother? 'Lu-jii' or sump'tn?"
"Yeah, that's-a me, Luigi.. But isn't the Library supposed to be-a here? At Knowledge Road and One Way?"
"Aw dan'g!" The toad replied, "you's be-a wantin' that there thing across the street! I don' give th' books, I jus' listen'm!"
"Across the...?"
But Luigi didn't finish, as he beheld the great monolith of the Great Mushroom Library as he turned about!
"Mama-mia!" Luigi exclaimed, "how'd I miss a thing like that?"

The building was immense and impressive. The masterful architect, Craff T., managed to create a wonderful fusion of ancient Goomba and Koopa architecture. It stood gloriously, six stories of carefully chisled stone pillars and buttresses, as a wonderful cache of all that can ever be known by the mushroom people. It took several moments before Luigi actually realized he was just standing there and walked into the building.

The inside was no less impressive than the outside. Luigi walked up to the lobby's desk to the scholarly-looking toad behind it.
"I-a need ta find a book." Luigi prompted, "Could you-a help me look for it?"
"What book did you have in mind?" The toad asked, peering at Luigi from over his bifocal glasses.
"A big purple monkey said something," Luigi explained, "and I'd-a like to find out what he said, and what it-a means."
"Ah!" the toad said, hopping off his chair, "You'll want a language book, then. Follow me." And with that he darted towards one of the stairwells, Luigi trotting quickly behind.

The toad led him through rows of various history books. Luigi noted a neighbor of his, Russ T., rifiling through the titles, but didn't stop to chat, lest he lose sight of his guide.

He was led up to a reading level, and noted several Goombas, seemingly caught in the stories, amongst the toads here.
"I wonder how they turn pages," Luigi mused, "without any hands.."

Up again, up a wonderful spiralling starcase, past more and more books. Luigi didn't realise how large the library really was.

And then down another staircase, past the front desk, and across the hall to some more shelves.
And up again, through rows of various history books. Luigi noted a neighbor of his, Russ T., rifiling through the titles, but didn't stop to chat, lest he lose sight of his guide.

"Whoa, hold it!" Luigi said to the toad in front of him. "We've-a been here! Why are you-a goin' 'round in circles?"
"Truthfully, the toad said, leaning close to Luigi, "I think we're being followed."
Luigi followed the direction of the toad's hand to see a dark figure, looming silently closer. As it neared him, Luigi saw that it was none other than....

Bow

The Purple Monkey!
"*&(*%UTYE%&@$%Y%^"
*What's taking that pizza Luigi?*
"I'm sorry all knowing purple monkey, I do not know what you said!" Luigi said truthfully.
The monkey left saying,
"$@&^$&^&#*&$"
*$@&^$&^&#*&$*
Just then, a trap door appeared where Luigi was standing. He looked down, then back up, and then his eyes zoomed back down and turned bigger. He gulped and then fell for what felt like hours down the dark corridor and landed in a dungeon. He heard a voice.

Chapter 2-The voice that Luigi heard in the dungeoun tells him what it wanted to say...

Fifth

Luigi hit the hard dungeon floor with a loud *THUD* and a thick cloud of ratherunpleasant dust.
"AaaHHH-KPLRMBPHFMKF!" Luigi sneezed, sending the dark grime across the room.
"Where am I?" he asked himself, wiping his watery eyes.

The dungeon, Luigi saw, once the dust settled, was no more than a small, dank, grimy room, being lit by a narrow shaft of light coming through a single grated window on one of the walls. Luigi tried to look up to find the passage whence he fell, but saw only darkness; there was no longer a way up there.
"Mama mia!" Luigi said out loud, "How am I-a gonna get outta here?"
"Ya say ya want out, hmm?" a voice spoke from directly behind him.
Startled nearly out of his hat, Luigi spun about to get a look at the speaker.
"Wh-who are you?" Luigi ventured to ask, shaking slightly.
And into the light in front of him step a formidable mole, wearing a pair of dark glasses.
Luigi breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Ah, good. I thought you-a might have been a ghost."
"I c'n get ya outta here, see?" The mole responded, "But ye'll hafta help me first."
"I'll do what I can." Luigi assured, "What do you need?"
"Follow me," Said the mole, and darted off.
"Mama mia! Not again!" Luigi remarked, as he dashed after the mole towards a hole in the wall.

"The name's Moxie, see?" the mole explained en route, "Me an' the boys of da 'underground syndicate,' we'd normally have ya outta here in no time flat."
The mole stopped moving and turned to Luigi.
"For a small 'favor' of course."
Luigi merely rolled his eyes as the mole continued on.
"But there's been problems, see? Big problems wit'da sydicate leader, and so de entire sydicate structure."
The mole stopped again.
"Yea c'n see how that'd be a problem, 'course."
"Of course," Luigi agreed, annoyed at the stop.
"But we's gotta do sumthin'," the mole went on, "er we's is gunna be in big trouble here, see?"
The passage suddenly opened to a larger chamber, flooded with bright (relatively) light. Luigi immediately wished he had a pair of glasses like Moxie's. The place was a great rift in the solid stone. Various passages lined the walls, as narrow bridges and walkways joined them. Luigi noted several other moles darting across these from time to time, occasionally meeting each other with violence. Luigi also heard the distant sounds of greater struggles.

"Dis 'ere's our official 'sydicate headquarters,'" Moxie explained, "Jus' head down that there hole. Tell da boss that Moxie sent ya."

Luigi didn't exactly trust what he'd gotten himself into any more than he trusted Moxie's character, but he knew that he had to get back to the surface somehow.

Luigi clambered through the hold into the adjacent chamber and beheld...

[Fifth]

billy chilly

Luigi stepped over through the damp, moss-covered doorway and tried to focus on the tall, darkened figure leaning against a far wall.

"Hello?" Luigi called into the dark, humid chamber.

"Come closer." The figure replied, with a stern quiet in his voice.

Luigi looked around and, feeling the dim coast to be clear, carfully stepped over to however was in charge of this bizarre organization.

"Wait a second!" Luigi protested angrily, "I've heard about you! You're that Tatanga guy, aren't you!?" Luigi accused.

"Shhhh!" Tatanga hissed furiously. "Quiet! You can never be too careful. . . spies and such."

"What are you doing here!?" Luigi asked in a raspy whisper.

"Well. . ." Tatanga began, straightening his cape, "After my hideous defeat at the hands of that clod. . . Mario," The purple-skinned warlord cringed at the sound of the heroic plumber's name, "I left for my homeworld, to show. . . him. . . that I, Tatanga, ruler of this and all galaxies, does not give up, especially not to lowly human stink-beasts. . . no offence"

"None taken," Luigi said with an angry look.

"Anyway, I knew that I must take a much more stealthy approach. . . hence my new lair, and my loyal band of moles." Tatanga continued, "Now, Luigi. . . this is where you come in. I'll let you leave my dank, dark abode, on one condition."

"Wait, wait. . . this was a set-up?" Luigi asked, with a hint of frightened confusion making his voice shaky.

"Of course!" Tatanga chuckled, "Who else would send a flying monkey? A purple on at that!" Tatanga explained, pointing out his purple flesh. "That language the monkey was babbling was my native tongue. . . a rather simple android, but incredibly important to my plans. . ." Tatanga trailed off.

"This is insane." Luigi told himself quietly.

"Back to business, my fine friend," Tatanga changed the subject, taking the air of a car salesman, "I'll let you leave as long as you do one simple thing for me."

"What would that be?" Luigi asked with little enthusiasm.

"Help me in my revenge," The alien warlord said simply.

"What? Help you take down my own brother?! You're crazy!" Luigi laughed.

"Then you can look forward to a slow, painful death in my slimiest, darkest dungeon." Tatanga retorted.

Luigi bit his lip, trying to decide between two horrible options: betray his brother, or die a lonely, sad death.

"Of course," Tatanga began again, scratching his pointy ear, "there will be some very nice perks in store for you should you decide to assist me. Surely you're tried of your pompous brother stealing all the glory, leaving you in his shadow? Wouldn't you like to be rich? Famous? Powerful? As my co-dictator, you'll have everything you could ever want at your fingertips," Tatanga grinned, revealing a mouthful of dagger-like, snow-white teeth, "descision-time, my green-clad friend. What do you say?"

Weegie

It had been a long time since his last adventure, and Mario did like to hog the spotlight. Luigi didn't know what to do...

Finally he wailed "All right! I'll do it!!"

Tatanga smirked. "Very well, my fine friend. You help me take down Mario, and I will give you anything you want!"

"Anything?" Luigi pondered. "Yes, anything," Tatanga replied.

"What do you want me to do?"

Tatanga leered, "Well, it goes something like this..."

Bow

CHAPTER 3-Meanwhhile, which means let's see what's going somewhere else

Mario had looked everywhere for Luigi, It was lunchtime and Luigi never missed lunch.
"Maybe he went to the library", Mario thought. So Mario went to the Library and looked everywhere for Luigi. When he finally decided that Luigi wasn't there, he fell down a trap door...

Fifth

"OOopmph!"
Mario fell into a room direcly below. Immediately in front of him there sat the backside of a bookcase (he could tell because all of the books' spines were facing the wrong way.)
"Mama Mia!" He said, "this-a must be some kinda secret room in the library!"
He got up, dusted himself off, and took a better look around.
The room was rather small, compared to the rest of the library, but kept the same style of architecture. A few tables and pedestals supported random decor and pieces of art. Opposite the bookcase was a crude wooden door, locked, barred, and gaurded.
Mario did a double take as he saw the two mole gaurds standing on either side of the large door, but calmed again once he noticed that both were fast asleep.
Curiosity got the better of reason as Mario proceeded to tip-toe towards the door. About halfway across the room, he noted a large cookbook sitting open on one of the tables.
"Holy Ravioli!" He said, noting the caption on the picture. He altered course slightly, veering toward the table. He immediately grabbed the book off the table - he wanted to know as much as he could about this recipe. Perhaps he could make it when he got home - completely oblivious to the fact that the book was supporting the corner of a large blue vase.
*CRRASCH!*
The noise startled Mario, who lept into the air with a yelp.
And into the chair behind him.
"Whooaa!!" He yelled as the chair toppled over backwards, knocking into a pedestal, which supported another blue vase, not unlike the first.
Mario collected his bearings just in time to see the vase teeter to the edge of its platform and tilt slowly over the side.
"Ah noo!!" Mario jumped for the vase, catching it with both hands, and slid head first into the base of a bookcase in the middle of the room. Mario clamped his eyes shut as the books all fell noisily to a pile on the floor, the entire case falling backwards.

Mario slowly pryed his eyes back open and turned his head dreadingly to look at the door...

To see both gaurds still fast asleep.
"Mama mia!" Mario said aloud, "You could-a tear down this-a building around them and they'd never even know!" He promptly got to his feet and stepped over the clutter toward the door.
As Mario began lifting the bar from the door, the gaurd to his left let out a small chuckle.
"Ipe!" Mario jumped to the air again, dropping the bar upon his foot. "Ow! Owowow!!" Mario said, hopping about.
The gaurd laughed again, slightly louder than before.
"Hey, what's-a so funny?" Mario asked the sleeping mole.
"It's about Mario," the mole chuckled in his sleep.
"What about me- uh.. him?" Mario went on.
"Tatanga's got his brother," the mole said mirthfully, "who's agreed to kill Mario in return for his own freedom."
"Tatanga!?" Mario gasped.
"Yup," the mole quipped smugly, "E's finally gonna get his revenge! And through Mario's own brother, too!"
The other mole, who'd been silent until now, began stirring. "Masterful, that," he said drowsily.
Mario wasted no time.

He snatched the key from the mole gaurd's belt and quickly unlocked and opened the wooden door.
"No purple-a freak is-a gonna turn my brother against me!" Mario said as he headed down the staircase behind the door.

Luigi, meanwhile, had been given his provisional freedom, though he felt quite sick and unesay, he knew exactly what he had to do. The first step would be to...

[joshi]

Wow Fifth, you sure worked hard on this game! ;D I'll continue it when I have the chance.