Cackling with smug, sadistic glee

[Lazo]

"Maybe it's not the man holding you down....maybe your just too lazy to get up."

An essay I wrote for Creative Writing. People who read it liked it, so I figure why not?

Warning: Contain pointless cruelty directed at domesticated creatures. If you feel that you won't be able to handle it, then don't read it and complain.

Those who wish to continue, congratulations!

Link up -> S.Cackling with Smug Sadistic glee.

Where I go, none follow.

[bloodoftheyoshi]

ok then Lazo! get on with it XD

[Lazo]

Stop!

Before you go any further. I assume you have read and have agreed to the statement I made above, yeas?

Apparently, the link isn't working. At all. Something about a "This feature you are trying to use is on a CD-Rom or other removable disk that is not currently avaliable" error.

I've decided to enter it here, directly. Some of the formatting will be lost, but it's a small price to pay, to send information to the masses.

[Lazo]

His name was Ted Nugget, but everyone called him Crazy Teddy. Wearing army pants and shouting everything helped, but what really made his reputation was the glimmer in his eye. When he got that glimmer, no one would be able to predict what he would do next. I've seen him get into fistfight with police over traffic tickets.

The person next to Crazy Teddy was Harry Kheinz. Harry had been my neighbor for about 15 years now, and we knew each other well. Harry is what many people call the soft one. He was always going out of his way to avoid hurting other people's feelings, and, cared deeply about life. There are some people who would call him a hippie, but I knew Harry better then that. He actually took baths, he just didn't shave. He simply didn't like seeing others hurt. One thing about him that did annoy everyone else, though, was his persistence. If someone was opposed to his views, then he'd pester that person into submission, or, isolation, whichever would come first.

The four of us were going home from school, with Crazy Teddy driving his Kia POS, Harry Kheinz riding shotgun with me and Jamal in the back. Crazy Teddy was pulling forty Miles an hour, an amazing feat given the rust factor of his car, down Pine street. Pine street was a small, pleasant road, if you enjoyed being bored out of your mind. Seemingly endless trees yielded only to the endless houses of the disgustingly rich. We were talking about something along the lines of "is gum food?" When, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a dog, no, a puppy, a Golden Retriever puppy, scamper into the path of Crazy Teddy's Kia.

Before I could even yell "Apollonius Christ!" The puppy was under the tire and the car was in the air. It would have been exciting, if it were not caused by the body of puppy. Crazy Teddy slammed the breaks, sending the rest forward; me and Jamal into the seats in front of us. Crazy Teddy slowly turned his head, and cast a gaping look back past me, mouthing "Holy crap, I just hit a dog!" then just sat there. I don't know how long, but it might have gone on for hours, until Jamal finally managed to speak up "Yo, man, watcha gonna do?" Crazy Teddy's neck creaked as he cast a blank stare at Jamal, his lips peeling back with a madman's smile. I saw what I, what everyone, feared the most: That soft glimmer in his eyes.

Crazy Teddy whipped around and threw the car into reverse, and I could hear the gas pedal hit the floor as we were catapulted backwards, back toward the injured puppy despites Jamal's protest of "Whatchew doin' man?!". I closed my eyes and grimaced as the tires went airborne again, only much less so then they did with the initial collision. I thought I heard it's insides getting splattered on the tire, but that was probably my imagination. Everyone was panting, but no one nearly as severely as Harry. Harry's head was clasped in his palms while slowly rocking back and forth, and if I didn't know better I would have thought he was crying.

"How 'bout that?" I looked up again to see Crazy Teddy smiling back at me like he was euphoric, and quickly looked down again. "How 'bout that?" He addressed Jamal, who must have been doing the same thing I was, because Crazy Teddy's door clicked open with a triumphant "How! About! THAT?!" I couldn't help myself, I looked up again to see Crazy Teddy skipping around the front of his car, rapidly tapping the hood while going across, even managing to point and wink at the distraught Harry during his journey. Then he ducked, dove, I believe, and it was just the three of us, in shocked disbelief. Me and Jamal stared at each other, at Harry, then back again. "Aw, man, this juznot coo, this is whack." Jamal's voice was shacking, understandably. "I know, I know, Harry, are you alri-" My question was interrupted with a Thunk On Jamal's side of the car. I looked past Jamal and found myself face-to-face with dead puppy's head.

"ME SO SOWWY!" Crazy Teddy moved it in rhythm with is mockery Chinese tone. The Puppy's head had many of its neck parts dangling, with a little bit of blood coming out of its nose. The eyes were still open. "ME SO SOWWY!" Crazy Teddy tilted his macabre hand puppet sideways and tapped the glass again, this time getting a reaction out of Jamal "DAAA---ANG! Yo' get disease fo dat!" Unfortunately, Crazy Teddy was beyond reason, beyond logic. The comment only made him smile more. "ME MAKE ALL BETTAH, MAKE UP FA YOO!" With a final tap on the glass, this time leaving a small blood stain, he turned around and marched toward the nearest house humming what had to be Cat Scratch Fever.

Jamal and I watched with disgusted fascination as Crazy Teddy made his way to the house. He was Skipping. Jamal was whispering to himself, something along the lines of "oh man oh man oh man." Harry's head was still buried in his hands, only his shaking was faster, more intense. I saw him press the doorbell, even then Crazy Teddy couldn't stand still, he was jogging in place when the door was answered, it was a women. Even in the car I could hear Crazy Teddy yell "Me so sowwy!" with his puppy-puppet. The woman's shriek must have been heard for miles. I later learned that the puppy wasn't even hers.

After an eternity, Crazy Teddy threw his puppy-puppet at the screaming women, who attempted to slam the door in his face. By the time the door was closed, Crazy Teddy was already at the car, cackling to himself as he opened the door and leapt in. I heard the tires screech when I was pushed backwards in Crazy Teddy's escape.

The car was dead silent the rest of the trip back.

Harry didn't look up until it was our turn to get out. I wanted nothing more then to get away from Crazy Teddy and forget about his gruesome performance, and leapt out before the car fully came to a stop in front of my house. Harry didn't do that, he was slow getting out of the machine. Crazy Teddy gunned the motor as soon as Harry was out, screeching his tires and switching his radio to Gangsta rap for Jamal. I almost felt bad for him, being alone with Crazy Teddy. I shook my head and turned back toward Harry. He was sulking his way next door, back home. I opened my mouth to say something, but he chose that moment to look right at me. He slowly shook his head and continued into his house. He had been crying. Not wanting to stay in the middle of the road any longer, I, too, went home. It took me several hours to remember that our books were still in Crazy Teddy's trunk.

I didn't sleep that night. It wasn't insomnia, it was Harry. Even in my room I could hear him screaming in his. It sounded like he was on the phone; he would rant for some time then stop. After a little while he'd start screaming again. I've known Harry for a long time, and this was too awkward for words. He had always been very caring for animals, but he had never risen his voice. In the 15 years I had known him, he was always calm. Sure, if you opposed his viewpoints, which were always leaning closer to the left then I was comfortable with, he'd annoy you constantly, but he'd never yell.

Eventually he started slamming something, probably the phone, against the wall. He didn't stop screaming. He screamed for almost five hours.

[bloodoftheyoshi]

Wow... sad, I have no problem with dying people, but poor puppy... it never got to live its life. I like it so far, keep it up!