Post by Shoe on Aug 29, 2009 11:18:56 GMT -5
This is an assignment for my Creative Writing class. We had two choices for the subject of a poem--a typical activity, or the underlying mysteries behind the smiles of a photograph. I chose the former. I'll let you figure out what it's about. We also had to focus on alliteration (repeating consonant sounds) or assonance (repeating vowel sounds). I can't remember which, but I tried a little of both, mostly alliteration. We were also limited to using only concrete nouns, and it was hard enough trying to fit nouns of any kind at the end. I think the only place I didn't do that was on the last line. This is probably about all I'll do with it, but if anyone has any suggestions, please, feel free to let me know.
Critique is strongly encouraged.
Critique is strongly encouraged.
What passion I have when driving on the open road,
When the tall sky is lit with a fiery flare
Of azure and vermilion and lavender, shining above silvery clouds,
When jazz plays softly, undisturbed by white noise, and a light rain is drumming on the hood.
The purr of the muffler, like a great jungle cat, growls as my vessel accelerates.
But, at times, my blissful tranquility is rudely disturbed by a little green man.
His small and soft light becomes as a blinding, emerald sun,
And so small and so far he stands just like a distant star, high in the sky,
How long has he held that wonderful color?
When will he submit to his brother with the golden light?
For, very soon after him, the youngest appears, with the crimson stare of a furious beast!
Excitement fuels my veins while a spell of uncertainty befalls my racing heart,
And I wonder, will I find the incomparable satisfaction of catching the friendly, green glow?
Will I experience the enthralling relief of just barely whipping pass the yellow flash?
Or, will I rediscover the sickening displeasure of waiting before that glaring, blood red eye?
Whatever Chance has in store for me, I must always carry on with a cautious head,
For, if I am ever too reckless, I may soon find myself hunted by their dancing, blue cousins.
When the tall sky is lit with a fiery flare
Of azure and vermilion and lavender, shining above silvery clouds,
When jazz plays softly, undisturbed by white noise, and a light rain is drumming on the hood.
The purr of the muffler, like a great jungle cat, growls as my vessel accelerates.
But, at times, my blissful tranquility is rudely disturbed by a little green man.
His small and soft light becomes as a blinding, emerald sun,
And so small and so far he stands just like a distant star, high in the sky,
How long has he held that wonderful color?
When will he submit to his brother with the golden light?
For, very soon after him, the youngest appears, with the crimson stare of a furious beast!
Excitement fuels my veins while a spell of uncertainty befalls my racing heart,
And I wonder, will I find the incomparable satisfaction of catching the friendly, green glow?
Will I experience the enthralling relief of just barely whipping pass the yellow flash?
Or, will I rediscover the sickening displeasure of waiting before that glaring, blood red eye?
Whatever Chance has in store for me, I must always carry on with a cautious head,
For, if I am ever too reckless, I may soon find myself hunted by their dancing, blue cousins.
