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Post by Lord of the Dance on Aug 19, 2005 18:54:13 GMT -5
Hmm... I tell blonde jokes, and guess what I am? I like making fun of myself XD I don't mind jokes like that as long as they aren't abused...
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Post by Soul on Aug 19, 2005 19:35:34 GMT -5
The main problem is that Blood doesn't live here anymore. He "fled" to the USA and has lived there for many years, apparently since he was very young, as he has already forgotten Spanish.
Why don't you make jokes about Mexican-Americans instead, hmm? That would at least include "your own race".
I can certainly laugh at myself about things that are TRUE about my country, such as almost everything Adal Ramones says. (Now that is a good comedian). But most of your jokes were either outright lies or things that a Mexican would NEVER laugh about.
Sure, blood wants me to laugh about this...:
Surely anyone from any country can tell why the first "joke" is purely a racist insult. And the second one, Blood should know that there aren't ANY friggin' K-marts in México, god d**nit. I had never seen such an outright insult to our anthem. And the third... ohhhh don't even try passing the Alamo (and the ensuing war) as something to celebrate. Nor the recent movie of the same name, a movie that only a real indifferent, ignorant-about-history A-hole would enjoy, a movie which by the way was VERY exaggerated and very inaccurate. Only a S.O.B. would celebrate land theft. And México DOES have an olympic team, which has won plenty of medals. I dare you to show these jokes to some other Mexican that STILL lives in México. You're NO LONGER a Mexican at heart, period.
And if you are offended with this then I am NOT sorry. And don't make any more race-specific jokes, or you'll be banned permanently.
Sheesh!!
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Post by Lazo on Aug 19, 2005 20:46:24 GMT -5
A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies.
They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150. The guy says, "We'll ship her home."
The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here."
The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
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Post by bloodoftheyoshi on Aug 20, 2005 0:46:56 GMT -5
Bah, labels. You make a good point Soul. I apologize for offending you. I guess I'll stick with the name"Chicano" from now on, if that's the right word... I just don't want any grudges held between us for what I said. I can't hold a grudge for my life.
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Post by yoshicreator on Aug 20, 2005 15:19:55 GMT -5
Yeah, those are all great!  ~*YC*~ |
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Post by Soul on Aug 21, 2005 4:41:58 GMT -5
Alright...
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Post by Shoe on Aug 21, 2005 9:29:16 GMT -5
[and people wonder why we have wars in this world  it all starts with a simple word -_-;;; ] anyway some of you have maybe heard this one before and its kinda old but I never get tired of it ;D ---------------------------- theres a red head a blonde head and a green haired girl going to the mall. The red headed girl walks past a clerk Clerk: wow you have really nice hair. she combs her hair with her hand Red headed girl: thanks its natural the blonde headed girl walks past the clerk. Clerk: wow your hair has great shine. she combs her hair with her hand Blonde headed girl: thanks its natural then the green headed girl walks past the clerk Clerk: wow that hair makes you look so exotic. she sneezes in her hand and combs her hair with it Green haired girl: thanks its natural *Ice* |
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Post by Lazo on Aug 21, 2005 10:22:07 GMT -5
War, children, it's just a shot away, it's just a shot away!
--------
A woman was caught shoplifting in a supermarket on Miami Beach and was arrested and hauled off by police car to appear in night court, where she had been joined by her long-suffering husband.
They had been in this very courtroom, before the same judge, earlier in the week, squabbling over marital spousal support in their on-going divorce trial.
The prosecutor had the store's TV security tape, which proved the theft by the woman had taken place so the judge said, considering her previous record for similar offenses, he was forced to impose a jail term.
"This time you stole a can of tomatoes. I am going to guess that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"
The woman agreed.
"Then I sentence you to six nights in jail."
The husband jumped to his feet addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"
"Well," said the judge, "this is a bit unusual but I'll make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench."
The husband wasted no time getting up to the judge's podium and leaning forward, he said in a low voice,
"She also stole a can of peas, your honor."
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Post by sui on Aug 21, 2005 11:12:13 GMT -5
A guy in a market:
- Hello there, what are those orbs?
- Oranges, sir, didn't you see such a thing before?
- Okay, then give five kilogram of them, but wrap them severally, because I take them to a sick person.
- As you wish...
- And what are those long, green ... things?
- Cucumber, didn't you see things like those before?
- Okay, then give five kilogram of them too, but wrap them severally, because I ta...
- As you wish...
- And what are those little black thingies in that box?
- Seeds, darnyou, but those aren't for sale!!!
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Post by moshi5694 on Aug 21, 2005 11:31:40 GMT -5
There was a guy selling cigars.
Custamer:What are you selling?
Guy:.......
Custamer:*walks away*
Boss:Your suposed to say cigars.
Custamer:What are you selling?
Guy:Cigars.
Custamer:How much do they cost?
Guy:Cigars.
Custamer:*walks away*
Boss:Your suposed to say 1 for a nickle,2 for a dime.
Custamer:What are you selling?
Guy:Cigars.
Custamer:How much do they cost?
Guy:1 for a nickle,2 for a dime.
Custamer:Are they fresh?
Guy:Cigars.
Custamer:*walks away*
Boss:Your suposed to say yes fresh,veary fresh.
Custamer:What are you selling?
Guy:Cigars.
Custamer:How much do they cost?
Guy:1 for a nickle,2 for a dime.
Custamer:Are they fresh?
Guy:Yes fresh,veary fresh.
Custamer:I'll have one please.Thankyou.*walks away*
Person:What time is it.
Guy:Cigars.
Person:What?
Guy:1 for a nickle,2 for a dime.
Person:Are you being fresh with me?
Guy:Yes fresh,veary fresh.
Person:Grrrrrrrrrr.*shoots the guy*
Guy:*dead*
XD
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Post by Shoe on Aug 21, 2005 12:21:51 GMT -5
lol XD that was good Moshi this one might be a little violent but so what ._. whats got 4 wheels smokes and squeels? busload of babies on fire. whats red and goes round and round...babies in a garbage disposal of coarse. (i dont have anything against babies as a matter of fact i love babies but i love dead baby jokes ._.) |
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Post by yoshicreator on Aug 21, 2005 12:45:38 GMT -5
Ok, morbid...  ~*YC*~ |
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Aug 22, 2005 15:27:27 GMT -5
MOSHI'S JOKE IS FUNNY!!! <need laugh smiley>
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Post by Lazo on Aug 22, 2005 21:48:37 GMT -5
I don't see it...
-----
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...
And left it there all night.
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Post by yoshicreator on Aug 22, 2005 22:00:37 GMT -5
See what.....? What don't you see?  ~*YC*~ |
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Post by Teo on Aug 22, 2005 22:18:33 GMT -5
Some of these are really good!
And some are disturbing...anyways, heres three.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
What do you call a polar bear in hawaii?
Lost.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickens foot.
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Post by yoshicreator on Aug 22, 2005 22:20:13 GMT -5
HAHAHA! Those two-liners are witty!
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
~*YC*~
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Post by moshi5694 on Aug 22, 2005 22:31:45 GMT -5
Alright.Imagen that you see 2 botle caps,and a pencil on top.-~-
There was a Guy selling candy.
Custamer:Do you have any hershey bars
Guy:No
Custamer:Do you have any twizzlers
Guy:No
Custamer:Do you have any bubble gum
Guy:No
Custamer:Do you have any jawbreakers
Guy:No
Custamer:Do you have any shockers
Guy:No
Custamer:Do you have anything
Guy:All I have is this pencil and 2 bottle caps.
There is 2 kids camping
Kid 1:What time is it?
Kid 2:I don't know,but if we yell really loud we can find out.
Kid 1:How will that help?
Kid 2:You'll see...
So the kids start yelling.
Guy:Will you kids stut up!It's 3:00 in the morning!
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Aug 22, 2005 22:36:08 GMT -5
Me (yelling in phone)
"I'M AN IDIOT!!!!!"
Voshee (yelling back)
"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!!!"
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Aug 24, 2005 7:54:30 GMT -5
My sister Velvet T. (she's a Toad) walks up to the Bridge of Death. Keeper: What is your name? Velvet: Velvet T., ruler of female psychos. Keeper: What is your quest? Velvet: I seek the Holy Grail. Keeper: What is blue, black, and red all about? Velvet: Oh, I dunno, howzabout...YOU, if you don't let me across!!! Keeper: Uhhh, that's good enough. You can pass, just don't kill me! |
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