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Post by Teo on Sept 12, 2005 21:49:26 GMT -5
Who's got good jokes? There was already a post on this, but it fell behind. And I just got a Joke book for my B-day (AKA today) ;D.
"Some people have six pack abs, I have a keg."
More! more!
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Post by Yoshi Master! on Sept 12, 2005 22:02:56 GMT -5
^ Suger rush? No. Loss of reality? Yeah baby! ^
Here's some funny and inappropiate names:
Mo Lester
Ben Dover
Al Coholic
Oliver Clozeoff
My fav, Ray Sist
And the world known Stu Pid
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Post by boomiester on Sept 12, 2005 22:06:35 GMT -5
Ok, I edited this one a bit so nobody gets insulted.
Three guys sat at a table, A guy from NASA, a guy from the Russian space center, and a guy from (insert county here).
NASA guy: we were the first people to send a man to the moon.
Russian guy: well, we put the first man into space.
They looked at the guy from (insert country here)
guy: Ha! were gonna be the first ones to send a man to the sun!
NASA and Russian guy: You idiot, you can't send someone to the sun, they'll burn up.
guy: oh, we have it all figured out. To avoid being burned up, we'll send him at night.
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Post by Lazo on Sept 12, 2005 22:21:33 GMT -5
Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
Men concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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Post by Yoshi Master! on Sept 12, 2005 23:09:36 GMT -5
My computer has a lot of RAM if you know what I mean.
My mouse is sensitive to touch if you know what I mean.
My computers out of hard drive if you know what I mean.
I broke my floppy if you know what I mean.
I've been playing on my computer all day if you know what I mean.
I'm microsoft if you know what I mean.
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Post by Teo on Sept 12, 2005 23:36:35 GMT -5
The great thing about aspirin is, no matter how long you suck on it, it never changes flavor.
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Sept 13, 2005 7:14:31 GMT -5
Lava:  Neo, explain why there's a Twinkie in your coat pocket. Neo: Huh?  I...Isn't this my big eraser?
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Post by Yoshi on Sept 13, 2005 7:30:47 GMT -5
T_bone: yoshiken move your leg!!!
Yoshiken: thats not my leg....
T-bone: o_0
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Post by Vizsual on Sept 13, 2005 7:39:21 GMT -5
A: Do you know what is more loud than nuclear?
B: Umm.. No. Is that a rocket?
A: No
B: Then I give up
A: NUUUCLEEEAAARRR!!!!
...
A: Hey, I'm tired, can you give me some water?
B: OK, Wait a minute
B: I'm back with some water
A: Why it is soooo less?!?
B: You said some, not a lot!
...
A: Why teenage like to go to the train?
B: Umm.. I don't know
A: Because they are in-train (Intrend)
...
A: From Bangkok to Chiengmai, how many turns to go if we go by train?
B: I think it is more than 100, is it correct?
A: No, 2 turns, turn left and turn right!
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Post by Toshi on Sept 13, 2005 11:03:03 GMT -5
Customer: Do you deliver?
Food Resturant Worker: No we do Lamb, Chicken and Fish.
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Post by Koshizu on Sept 13, 2005 12:01:28 GMT -5
Now we've started!  How d'you kill a circus? Go for the juggler. |
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Post by dpf on Sept 13, 2005 12:10:04 GMT -5
I've made this one up.......  A man was watchin' a horror film at the movies. A woman goes past him,and the scery part comes up. "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" the man screemed. The woman sat down next to him and said "whats the matter?" "YOU STEPED ON MY FOOT!" said the man. |
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Sept 13, 2005 15:11:11 GMT -5
Know that Treyba is part of a certain hinted kid gang.
Lava: Hurry up, Santa Klawz! The little ones are waiting!
Treyba: But this isn't funny!!!
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Post by Teo on Sept 13, 2005 18:59:37 GMT -5
What in the world are you supposed to send to someone sick who's alergic to flowers??
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Post by moshi5694 on Sept 13, 2005 19:00:39 GMT -5
chocolate?
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Post by Enrique on Sept 13, 2005 19:22:13 GMT -5
What in the world are you supposed to send to someone sick who's alergic to flowers?? A get-well-soon card with a picture of a flower? I was in the park, and I couldn't figure out why the Frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger... until it hit me. |
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Post by Teo on Sept 13, 2005 19:38:12 GMT -5
Mine was open ended...
Hee hee...bigger and bigger and then SMACK!!
I don't take cabs because I don't know how to tip the driver. I just tip him until he doesn't look mad anymore.
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Post by Lazo on Sept 13, 2005 20:04:16 GMT -5
Kendall: I saw something on TV last night about this young girl who'd been burned badly in a car accident. She'd been a great athlete and really beautiful before the accident. Afterwards, she was left very disfigured, but I couldn't get over how cute she was in the pictures before the accident.
Brendan: Would you go so far as to call her a smokin' hottie?
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Sept 14, 2005 7:39:23 GMT -5
Treyba: Voila! I call this the Food of Truth! WHen you eat it, you instantly tell the truth! Tidus wouldn't believe it, but he ate some of the stuff, then ran to a trash can and spit it all out. Tidus: Hey, that's cat food!!!  Treyba: What did I tell ya? ;D
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Post by Toshi on Sept 14, 2005 11:07:13 GMT -5
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Big ish..
Big ish who?
Not today thanks
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you'll find out!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
Thats me!
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