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Post by Teo on Sept 14, 2005 18:06:19 GMT -5
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you.
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Post by Moot on Sept 15, 2005 16:37:56 GMT -5
So this baby seal walks into a club...
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Post by moshi5694 on Sept 15, 2005 16:44:49 GMT -5
and?
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Post by Moot on Sept 15, 2005 17:11:31 GMT -5
apparently I'm too subtle.
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Post by Yink on Sept 15, 2005 18:54:17 GMT -5
Sure I got a joke.
Two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks.
I'm such a Loser. LEVEL UP ! !
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Sept 15, 2005 21:30:45 GMT -5
Sure I got a joke. Two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks. I'm such a Loser. LEVEL UP ! !ROFL. I suddenly can't remember any of my good ones lol. |
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Post by Toshi on Sept 16, 2005 10:27:13 GMT -5
A mother and a son went into a church, the son says "Mom, i really need a pee", the mother replies "Don't say pee in church! From now on, call it a whisper." So one week later, the son went with his father to church this time, the son says "Dad, i really need a whisper", this is when his father bends over and says "Ok son, but whisper in my ear"
XD my friends joke, such a classic!
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Sept 16, 2005 13:21:52 GMT -5
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Post by Teo on Sept 17, 2005 1:32:27 GMT -5
Oh my gosh, Toshi that is dirty...
*Opens book to random page.*
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days, I lost two weeks.
My mom would burn incesnse, chant to the Buddha, and fast. She'd say, "Rosie, you should fast. The buddha would want you to fast." 'Yeah Ma, like I'm going to take diet advice from a five hundred pound man.' She'd get all upset. "Rosie, the Buddha isn't fat. He's just big chi-ed. He's got a lot of Karma." 'Yeah, Ma, you ever notice he's always sitting under a tree meditating? He can't get up!'
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Post by Dragon on Sept 18, 2005 1:05:08 GMT -5
XD, that's bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, I got one, and I'm allowed because I am a natural blond, hair's just gotten darker.
A blond walks into a store, points to a tv, and asks the clerk how much it is. The clerk says, "Sorry, but we don't sell our merchandise to blonds." The blond walks out. The next day, the blond walks in, asks a different clerk, but gets the same answer. So the blond goes and dies her hair red, walks into the store, points and asks how much for it. The clerk gives the same answer. The blond asks, "But, how'd you know I'm a blond?" The clerk replies, "Because you asked for a tv, and you're pointing to a microwave."
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Post by firespikez on Oct 1, 2005 20:58:32 GMT -5
i got one stupid french joke:P but i cant say it in english.you will not understand. in english:its a stickman he scratch his head, he's on fire!  in french:c'est un bonhomme alumettes. il se gratte la tete et il prends en feu.or another one: its a guy who he is in army. the general walk in front of the guy and he see that the guy dont say hello or somethin',then he goes see him and he says: do you know who i am?  and the guy says:hey guys!come see!!! ;D an old grandpa dont know who he is!!! |
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Post by Dragon on Oct 1, 2005 23:28:41 GMT -5
I got one, I'm going to change God to Satan so it's funnier and not as offensive. A boy asks his dad if Satan is black or white, his dad says "Both." So then, the boy asks his dad if Satan is male or femal, his dad says "Both." So, confused, the boy asks his dad, "Is Satan Michael Jackson?"
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Post by yoshicreator on Oct 2, 2005 13:12:27 GMT -5
This is the only one I can think of:
Q: Which Day of the Week is Depressed?
A: Sadder-Day!
Sooooo corny, but which two-liners aren't?
~*YC*~
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Oct 3, 2005 15:51:09 GMT -5
Ansem went to Wal-Mart.
Ansem: Can I buy this PlayStation?
Clerk: Sorry, Ansem. We don't sell to evil idiots like you.
The next day, Ansem returned, dressed as Link.
Ansem: Can I buy this PlayStation?
Clerk: No can do, Ansem. No bad guys allowed.
The next day, Ansem brought an inflatable Jack Skellington doll.
Ansem: Can I buy this PlayStation?
Clerk: NEVER, ANSEM!!
Ansem: Son of an Old Navy commercial! How did you know?
Clerk: Simple: you brought that waffle iron up to me for the past 3 days.
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Post by yoshicreator on Oct 3, 2005 15:52:57 GMT -5
Oh, ha-ha, I get it Amazy. I knew it was leading up to something like that!
~*YC*~
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Post by Teo on Oct 3, 2005 21:06:28 GMT -5
A hamburger walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink, but the barman says, "sorry, we don't serve food."
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Post by yoshicreator on Oct 4, 2005 16:53:14 GMT -5
I told the waffle iron joke to my parents and friends, they all had to think about it for a long while!
~*YC*~
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Oct 4, 2005 18:50:39 GMT -5
A masked wrestler with dark clothing is fighting a regular, unmasked wrestler. In the end, the masked wrestler wins.
Masked Wrestler: Now, let me do the honors of removing your mask.
Wrestler: I'm not wearing a mask.
Masked Wrestler: Oh, I know. *evil smile, grabs a red-stained sponge*
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Post by Teo on Oct 4, 2005 22:51:20 GMT -5
Driving tip: Never hit the lead car in a funeral, I have never seen so many people in such a bad mood.
More old jokes:
Gray hair isn't bad, ask anyone who's bald.
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Post by yoshicreator on Oct 5, 2005 16:43:03 GMT -5
Uhuh, Amazy, I don't get yours sorry, hmmmm...maybe I'm stupid!
~*YC*~
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