Karejokey!

[Toshi]

Ok people, its Karejokey time! Post your best jokes and make us laugh! Its good to make someone laugh, so come on! Make us all laugh! (no explicit jokes please)

I'll go first!

Patient: Doctor doctor, i swallowed my ball!
Doctor: Are you choking?
Patient: No, i'm really serious!

[boomiester]

ok, here's a bonde joke (no offence to Blondes)

A blonde walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup of coffee, on the cup she noticed a peel and win sticker, she peeled it off and looked at it, all of a sudden she yelled out "I WON A MOTORHOME! I WON A MOTORHOME!" An employee walked up and said "I'm sorry miss, there must be a mistake, the biggest prize you can win is free lunch." The blonde replied "It's no joke, look!" the employee looked, on the sticker it said "WINABAGEL"

[Yin]

I hope this works...

Link-up -> WTC joke picture

You see theres a penguin in there.
If you need a joke then heres one.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

[Editor's note] Hmmm... maybe directly isn't such a good idea, with a touchy subject like that one. The hard-link is still there, for anyone to observe if they wish.[/Editor's Note]

[red.yoshi]

wow, i know a semi bad joke, i dont know if i should post it >,<.

i also know alot of blonde jokes, but i wont put them up.

why did the catus cross the road?
..it was stuck to the chickens butt!
*brick*

didnt we have one of these topics before?

[bloodoftheyoshi]

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of his dog at all.

Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."

[Graedius]

Noah, Jesus Christ, and an Old Man were playing golf on a golf course.

Noah makes the first stroke -- it goes 114 feet.
Jesus makes the second stroke -- it does 125 feet.

The Old Man goes last -- and shanks it into a water hazard. However, it falls into a yawning frog's mouth, causing him to stumble disgracefully to the water's edge, where he is then picked up by a passingby bird and carried far overhead... shortly the bird loses it's grip on the slippery frog's flesh, and the frog falls to the ground, spitting out the ball, right into the cup, 300 feet away.

Noah turns to Jesus, and says to him, "This is why I hate playing with your dad."

[sui]

Blood said:

"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."

LOLOLOL! XDD (Bah, I don't know any jokes in English... )

[Yoshi4ever]

Blood said:

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of his dog at all.

Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."

That was a good one

[dude]

How do you make a group of old women shout "crap!"?

Just shout "Bingo!"


Lame one

[red.yoshi]

sorry if this is efenceive, altho i cant see how it could be

if the world was a jacket, where would all the black people live?

the hood.
*doubble bricked*

[Gene L.D. Ryoko]

here is one it took me a second to think of

what do you say to get a cow to move?

mooooooooooooove

*bricked*

[Midnight]

My dad told me this one.It's called,'Hark!Is that a Cannon I Hear?"
A boy walks up to the school's bulletin board.He's always wanted to be in a play,and he sees a notice that they have one part left in a play.
He goes up to the director,and pleads for the part.He responds:"This part is easy.There's only one line that you have to remember.The line is,'Hark!Is that a cannon I hear?"
So the boy goes home,practicing his only line.
He then goes to school.On the day of the play,when the cannon fires,the boy screams at the top of his lungs,"What the heck was that?!"

The word,'heck' was actually a different,more colorful word in this joke.But there are little eyes watching,so I replaced it XD.

[Not-Garr]

Here's a nice little one..it's about my Dad.

My Dad walks into a grocery store, and sees a friend of his, they start talking, and his friend mentions how he's Native American, well, my dad says, "I have an Indian name too." and his friend asks, "Really?", and my Dad replies, "Yeah, it's Runs with Scissors."

*bricked* XD

[Kasen]

A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along
and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived
at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage
to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted
the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you
didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody
left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!!!!!"

[UMS Author Lava]

Mmmkay, here's a weird joke.
Mario is told of an amazing Starman that has incredible power. He's so excited, he rushes to the area. What's at where he arrives? Some silver-suit guy with 2 tentacles instead of arms.
Mario: Excuse me, have you seen the powerful Starman around.
Shiny Guy: Yeha, I'm that Starman.
Mario: You're not a Starman! Starmen are star-shaped! And yellow!!
Starman: T-O-O B-A-D! Play EarthBound some, chubby!
So Mario commences stomping. The Starman is defeated.
Mario: Pffft...They said there's a powerful Starman here, and what's here? Some weak nut in a silver suit! That's SO false advertising!!!

[Lazo]

Five worst things in the army:

A Private saying, "I learned this in boot camp...."
A Sergeant saying, "Trust me, sir..."
A Second Lieutenant saying, "Based on my experience..."
A Captain saying, "I was just thinking..."
and a Warrant Officer chuckling, "Watch this crap..."

[robert]

A joke? Okay:
Wario and Waluigi meet each other on the street. Wario sais:"Hey, Waluigi, you look like there is no food in the whole wide world."
Waluigi answeres:"And you look like it is your fault!"

[Yoshino]

Dude! I just got to type this joke in!

President Bush, Osama Bin Laden, The Pope, and a little boy were on an airplane (don't ask why this is how the joke goes). The airplane then begins to malfunction, so the pilot jumps taking one of the four only parachuttes. President Bush takes one of the remaining ones and says, "I need to get to washington safetly to stop the war", Osama takes another and says, "I need to get to Afganinstan to keep up the war" the Pope turns to the boy and says "you should take the last one child" and the kid says "no, you should. Osama took my knapsack."

[Yin]

Ohhh ohhh! I just remembered a joke a friend told me.

A guy had a job selling cigars, a customer came in
"What do you sell?"
"Uhhhh..."
He went to his boss
"If someone ask you what do sell you say cigars!" he went back to the stand another customer came in
"What do you sell?"
"Cigars!"
"How much do they cost?"
"Cigars!"
He went to his boss
"If someone ask you how do they cost you say one for a nickel two for a dime."
Back to the stand
"What do you sell?"
"Cigars!"
"How much do they cost?"
"One for a nickel two for a dime."
"Are they fresh?"
"Cigars!"
And back to his boss
"If they ask you are they fresh you say yes fresh very fresh!"
And back to the stand
"What do you sell?"
"Cigars!"
"How much do the cost?"
"One for a nickel two for a dime!"
"Are they fresh?"
"Yes fresh very fresh!"
"Can I buy them now?"
"Cigars!"
Then back to his boss
"If they ask can they buy them now you say if you don't today someone will tomorrow!"
Then here comes the funny part
"What time is it?"
"Cigars!"
"I don't think you understand me."
"One for a nickel two for a dime!"
"Are you getting fresh with me?"
"Yes fresh very fresh!"
"Am I going to have to hit you?"
"If you don't today someone will tomorrow!"*Wham!*

[Rainbow Yoshi]

I've heard one like that. Except the guy was selling crayons. At the end it was like this:
The guy selling the crayons bumped into someone..
" Hey! Whats going on!?"
" Crayons for sell!"
"Do you have any idea of how much this jacket cost!?"
"Two for five, or five for ten!"
" Is all of your family like this!?"
"Some are, some aren't, some are, some aren't"
" Gimme one good reason why I shouldn't beat you up!"
"because if you don't, someone else will!"