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Post by Yoshiken on Apr 9, 2006 23:06:27 GMT -5
Ill help you with that plot hole once I get onto AIM ^^.
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Hunter
New Yoshi
I need a Yoshi form D=
Posts: 33
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Post by Hunter on Apr 10, 2006 0:29:36 GMT -5
I'm sure you'll be able to fill that hole. Just takes time and thinking to fix it. I had many doubts I'd finish my story on YA, but I did. You can do anything with your writings, Leoshi. You are very talented person. ^^
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Apr 10, 2006 7:17:00 GMT -5
Is it that sheet of paper that Teo and I found in that safe that's in the school wall? We never got to look at that again.
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Post by Leoshi on Apr 11, 2006 19:38:47 GMT -5
Alright, The fanfic is still running, and the plot hole evaded, I have only one choice, and I didn’t want to have it come to this. As of this point on, Enrique is no longer in this fanfic. If it isn’t too much, I would prefer that people don’t ask me why, for the reasons are better left unsaid… no, it’s not anything bad, bit still, I would appreciate it. Thanks. Now, on a brighter note, here’s my next:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Yoshee sighed, placing her hands on the table they where using to draw the plans for their place. “…uh, this is tough.”
“It’s practically rocket science.” Jay said. “Unfortunately, it’s not easy.”
“Go figure.” Moshi said.
“…Well, we’re almost done with the wings, right?” LD asked. He pointed to outside. Yin and Spider where hammering at two large metallic structures, wings with a span of 40 feet across. There was nothing else but a single propeller in the front, held all together by pipes. It didn’t look that professional, it looked more like something one would see at a science fair.
“So, we should be done with this soon, I hope.” Yin said. “Who’s gonna try to fly thing this?”
“I’ll do it.” LD said. “I got wind powers, remember? With a little luck, I can give this thing a burst in the air.”
“That may be our only option.” Moshi said.
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The little yoshi followed by the female walked toward the group that remained in the village.
“Hello.” she said.
“Ah, it’s you again.” Yoshiko said. “And who is the little kid?”
Leoshi remained quiet. He didn’t want to alarm the others.
“He isn’t saying much.” Ambioshi said.
“He reminds me of Leo.” Yapi said. ‘Speaking of him, where is the little kid?”
“Not sure. He’s been gone for a long time now.” Eloeem said. “He could have been captured.”
“Great.” Yoshiken said. “The last thing anyone needs right now is more trouble.”
“So, then…” Yoshifrog said. “Um, what’s up?”
“Oh.” Ambioshi said. “This child came to me saying he knew you.”
“Never seen him before.” Lava said. “Hello there, little guy, what‘s your name?”
Leoshi sighed.
“…erm, ok.” Lava said. He looked around. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the rest of our group since we split up.”
“I think they are all still at the airport with Parakoop.” Eloeem said.
“That’s not good.” Ambioshi said. “Don’t you know? That explosion blew away the path. There’s no other way to get in or out.”
“Oops.” John said, hiding the mini-gun behind him.
“So then, how do we get them down?” Teo asked.
“Either we wait for them to build a plane and fly down…” Yoshiko said. “Or we get up there.”
“That Cliffside is too slippery, and vertical. Nobody can climb that.” Ambi said.
“What about Parakoop’s plane?” Yapi asked. Everyone turned their heads toward her. “He’s got to have some stuff in the wreck that we can use.”
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That very group reached the plane crash site. They where walking about the ruins, excavating some items.
“I found some rope.” Leoshi said.
“Will this do?” Yoshiko asked, holding up a rather large propeller.
Meanwhile, Yoshifrog and Teo where lugging a series of oxygen tanks from the wreckage.
“Maybe this wood will help?” John asked, revealing some broken shards of wood.
“So, what the heck are you going to do with all of this?” Ambi asked.
“Maybe we can make a balloon with the air in these tanks?” John asked.
“The air in those isn’t buoyant enough to float.” Yoshiken said. “It’s oxygen.”
“Maybe we can use them like a jetpack?” Lava asked.
“There’s not enough pressure.” Yoshiken said.
“How about we build a small copter with the propeller, spun by the tanks while this little kid, who’s light enough, and send him up?” Teo asked.
And if the propeller doesn’t work, the little Yoshi is going to be chopped.” Yoshiken said.
“Then what do you suggest, Yoshiken?” Yoshiko asked.
“…I got nothing.” Yoshiken said, with a shrug.
“I figured.” Yoshiko said.
“Come on, fighting is going to get us nowhere.” Yapi said.
“…she’s right.” Leoshi said. “…maybe there’s more?”
“Well, I know there’s some more stuff that you could use.” Ambi said. “There’s an old mansion that a criminal used to own here.”
Leo’s eye widened.
“Cool, let’s go there!” Lava said.
“…wait, are you sure we should?” Leoshi asked.
“Aw, what’s the harm?” Yapi asked enthusiastically.
Leoshi looked down at his feet.
“Ok, let’s go!” Yoshifrog said.
“I’ll lead the way.” Ambi replied, walking toward the village with the others in tow.
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Yin continued to tug at the propeller with a wrench, making sure she got it tight.
“So how much longer?” Yoshee asked.
<Probably a half hour.> Champ said.
<…maybe… but nobody can say for sure.> Charon added.
“Oh, how right you are.” a voice said.
They all looked up and saw a new figure standing at the end of the runway. The wind was blowing against him, as he stood there menacingly.
“…Who are you?” Moshi asked.
“Good you should ask.” the newcomer said. “…my name is Ansem.”
---------------------------------------------------
Ok, Ansem’s here, which means things are going to get… well, I won’t spoil it. Lava probably can guess. More coming soon.
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Apr 11, 2006 22:13:40 GMT -5
Harharhar, this is going to be funny. Knowing Lava's version of Ansem. XD Great job, Leo! I can't wait to see how all this turns out... =D
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Post by Teo on Apr 11, 2006 22:39:21 GMT -5
Shame Enrique made a... dissappearance, but I guess if there's a plothole, then there's reason. Wait, that is the reason.
And now with the arrival of Ansem, who knows what sorry crazy thing might happen? I can't wait...
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Post by Yoshiken on Apr 12, 2006 1:13:44 GMT -5
Great chapter Leo!! wo, Ansem? XD. Cant wait to see what happens now ^^.
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Post by yoshark777 on Apr 12, 2006 5:56:25 GMT -5
Another great chapter! You really are a superb poet and writer Leo. Sorry to hear that Enrique got taken out. But its for the best.
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Apr 12, 2006 7:07:23 GMT -5
It's good to help others, right? ;D And I wonder what Ansem's up to here exactly...
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Post by Spider_ on Apr 12, 2006 14:09:20 GMT -5
Sorry for not replying for some time, But now for the chapter..As always, Great chapter Leo! So now we are going to know more about Leoshi:s past ;D.. Keep it up Leo!
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Post by shez on Apr 12, 2006 14:41:27 GMT -5
Soz for not posting for a while too. Great chapter Leo, shame about Enrique though, nontheless (sp?) can't wait to read more
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Post by eloeem on Apr 13, 2006 9:29:23 GMT -5
weee!!! I am back from the smal trip now... I see you conteneu the Fan Fic ^^ grat chapter Leo ^^ keep it up!!!
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Post by Yoshiko on Apr 14, 2006 14:29:08 GMT -5
LEO! So sorry I haven't commented in ages. MY computer was eaten by viruses. But I'm finally caught up on the reading. And I've been dancing to my favorite music. XD *nerd* but, the chapters were excellent. IT's too bad to hear that Enrique's been... Smooped? XD But at least that hole's better now! =D
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Post by Leoshi on Apr 16, 2006 19:33:00 GMT -5
More here at last. Sorry for that delay. I needed to do a bit more things before I could get back to this:
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The group remaining in the village reached an old, worn down mansion.
"This is the place." Ambi said. She looked at the tall building with a bit of disgust. "The criminal may be gone, but he certainly left his mark."
"Who the heck is this criminal?" Yoshiko asked. "What did he or she do?"
"Kidnapping, fraud, slavery, you name it, he's done it." Ambi said.
"Can we not discuss this?" Leoshi asked.
"That's one moody kid." Yoshiken said. "...but yeah, we better do it before those guys try to attack again."
"Let them attack." Lava said. "The battle isn't over. I need to get my three friends back, before the principal does who knows what."
The group reached the old, worn down building. There was char marks on the walls, the metal window shutters where all rusty and covered in cob-webs. What looked like it was once white paint had turned to an ugly gray with dirt spots. The roof looked like it had holes in it.
"When that guy ran, the building totally fell apart." Ambi continued. "Be very careful. Nothing in there is that strong. The floor, walls, or ceiling can give way at any moment."
"...then we got to be very careful." Yapi said.
"Touch as little as you need to." Teo said. He reached for the door and tugged the knob, only to have it break off in his hands.
"...oops." he said.
Eloeem walked toward the door, and flicked the wood. It simply broke free of it's hinges and fell backward into the house. As it landed on the wood, it made a loud thump. The entire house shook, as dust flew from windows and the shutters shook back and forth.
"Careful!" Yoshiken shouted. "We don't want to bring the place down before we even go in."
"This is far as I'm willing to go. From this point, you are on your own." Ambi said.
"Fine, thanks for the help." Yoshiko said.
She gave a wave, before walking away.
Leoshi gave a look at her, before looking back into the building. his hands clutched together.
"...let's go." Lava said.
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"What do you want?" Moshi asked, pointing at Ansem as he stood at the end of the runway.
Ansem said nothing, but continued to stand in his pose.
"...you gonna do something or what?" Moshi repeated.
"Don't give him any ideas!" Yin shouted.
"...this guy doesn't look so tough." Jay said.
"Oh, but what do you know?" Ansem said.
"Alright, talk." Yoshee said. "We all know you got something to do with this no flying curse!"
"Maybe, maybe not." Ansem said. "But..." he reached behind him and held out a Bomb-omb. "...I don't think you're in any position to make demands."
The menacing one slowly began to walk toward them, throwing the bomb-omb and catching it as he walked. "...you see? Evil always gets the upper hand. Now my friends, we got to discuss-"
Suddenly, a gust of wind caused Ansem's cape to blow in-front of him. As it did, his foot stepped on it's edge, causing him to lose his balance and fall forward.
"Do-" he shouted as his front smashed the ground. The bomb-omb flew in the air now. Spider rushed ahead and dove on the ground. he managed to catch the bomb-omb just in time. He slowly got back up. "...are you out of your mind?"
"Bloody Puke." Ansem said as his face was in the ground, muffling his words. He slowly got back up.
"Not the brightest of villains, huh?" LD asked.
"Take that back!" Ansem shouted, offended. "I'll have you know I'm the best there is!"
"...right then." Spider said. Though suddenly, he felt a mechanical arm grab the bomb-omb from his hands. He gasped as it threw it back to Ansem. He caught the explosive back in his hands. "Now, as I was saying..."
He began to walk toward them, again. "...I got some business to take care of. Where is Lava?"
"Why should we tell you?" Moshi asked.
"I'll blow that building behind you to bits if you don't." Ansem replied.
"No, not the airport!" Parakoop shouted.
"Oh yeah?" Moshi asked. She cracked her knuckles. "Well, I propose a different proposition."
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"Wow, this place is creepy." Eloeem said.
The group looked around the foyer. It was a huge, empty room. There was nothing left but a set of stairs leading up to the left. The entire room was dark and filled with cobwebs, but that was it.
Continuing from there, they walked up the stairs. Now, they stood in a corridor. It was also just as empty, with three doors on each side and a 7th door at the end.
"Split and search." Yoshiken said. "Be incredibly careful."
They all nodded and walked in separate directions. Leoshi reached for the first door and walked into the next room.
It was less empty in here. There was an old counter, and behind that, an old-style stove and sink. A few cabinets hung open, as if the room was frozen in time. A broken window over the counter-top provided the only light, as the once working chandelier hung by a single wire, as the rest of it had been ripped from the ceiling and was left to dangle.
"...the kitchen..." Leoshi said. It was a dreadful reminder of his past. he approached the counter-top and ran his finger across the side, because he could not reach the top. he picked up allot of dust as he did.
Moving further in, he walked behind the counter and reached the stove. he held the handle. It was too stiff now from age, it would not budge.
Leoshi turned his head and spotted the sink. For some bizarre reason, the spout was tilted at a 45 degree angle to the right.
"...oh, I remember that." Leoshi thought...
----------------------------------------------- FLASHBACK (9 years ago)
"Work harder, kid!"
Leoshi gasped and reached for the dish with his little blue hand. He held a sponge in the other hand and scrubbed the dish rapidly.
He finished after a minute, and looked at himself in the reflection.
The door suddenly burst open. "What's taking you so long!?" the voice came from the dark figure at the other end.
Leo gasped in surprise and dropped the dish, which shattered on impact of the floor.
"You.... will pay for that, idiot!" the criminal shouted. Leoshi gasped and tried to block himself, but to no avail. A single hard blow caused him to fly across the room, then smash into the sink. As he did, he struck the spout, causing it to dent and lean over to the right.
"Now get back to work." the criminal shouted.
END FLASHBACK
--------------------------------------------
Leoshi looked back up at the old rusty spout. "...I hated you."
There was a sudden bang. leoshi looked out of the door.
"GUYS!" yapi shouted. "COME QUICK! YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!!"
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More coming soon
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Post by Yoshiken on Apr 16, 2006 20:50:37 GMT -5
Gasp! What is Yapi shouting about!
awesome chapter Leo! XD, you are an expert with detail ^^.
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Post by UMS Author Lava on Apr 17, 2006 7:28:24 GMT -5
Heh, looks like Ansem has another grudge on me. Well, if he wouldn't wreck things, I wouldn't have to attack him, right? I'm still liking this! ;D
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Apr 17, 2006 12:02:34 GMT -5
HE'S GOT A BOB-OMB!!!! *flees*
XD. Great job with the details, Leo! I wonder what Yapi is calling for?
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Post by Leoshi on Apr 17, 2006 18:04:09 GMT -5
HE'S GOT A BOB-OMB!!!! *flees* I know where that's from, heh, nice reference. Yup, more comming soon. I am, regrettably, at a writer's block again... darn it.
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Post by yoshark777 on Apr 17, 2006 19:27:01 GMT -5
Oh no, The airport didn't get blown up did it? It looks like Leoshi had a hard life. Well anyway another great explaining chapter!
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Post by Yoshiko on Apr 17, 2006 21:56:24 GMT -5
More! Plzzzzzz XD! Worry not! I shan't go to the n00b side. Not yet. XD But still. I want more. It was a very interesting chapter, and I can't wait to find out what Yapi found!
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