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Post by Yoshiken on Aug 5, 2006 16:38:14 GMT -5
Hahaha! XD. "It burns." classic!
I loved this chapter XD! It was great!. Wow, where did you find the time to count all the chapters Yin? XD
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Post by Yin on Aug 5, 2006 17:29:18 GMT -5
Wow, where did you find the time to count all the chapters Yin? XD Boredom drives people to do random things my friend. *nod*
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Aug 5, 2006 17:56:26 GMT -5
Yayz! Double-scoop ice cream I love how this story is coming out. You should seriously consider putting it on Fanfictions.net or whatever it's called, haha. Awesome job, I almost thought Hunter would be a goner. I also like how you told what the Majestuosa was doing from Hunter's point of view.
...Kator is awesome. D=
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Post by Leoshi on Aug 6, 2006 18:21:59 GMT -5
You should seriously consider putting it on Fanfictions.net or whatever it's called, haha. The only problem with that most of the characters are fan-made and such, so if I were to, I'd have to deal with a whole bunch of copyright issues. Not to mention that the quality of this fanfic isn't really publish-worthy just yet. This is Leo's 103th chapter of Good or Evil! Congratulations!Is there anything the author would like to say for typing over 100 chapters? Seriously? Whoa, I never counted, so that's kind of surprising. Cool, thanks for the time it took, and I'll take the time to say thanks for everyone's who's gotten involved in it, otherwise it may not have gotten as large as it currently is!
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Post by Teo on Aug 7, 2006 11:36:01 GMT -5
103 chapter... the king is here!
And the king is showing his work to us and only us! Copyright issues... *prints and hogs chapters*
Yeah, you could end up making a book like this! It would already be at LEAST 100 pages long. You'd make a great writer... no wait, I take that back, you ARE a great writer.
Edit: Anyone notice how this fic stays quiet a couple of days, and when he comes back, the comments come pouring in?
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Post by eloeem on Aug 12, 2006 5:50:43 GMT -5
DARN! I'm real sorry, Leo.. I've not commented or anything much on this Lately, Sorry...
I've FINELY got time to check out this FanFic (YAY!!) And you allways seems to surprise me with you'r wrighting skills! You got a head filled with GREAT Ideas to this story, and Controling actions to... 25 charackters (more or less, I diddn't count o..o; ) That's just amazing! Leo, I got one thing to say; Keep it up! All the 103 chapters I've read so far have been a adventure... And I hope to see more from you real soon!!!
BTW: You get my charackter's personality really well done here! I love to read about all the things happening in this story... who can't?! XD
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Post by yoshark777 on Aug 15, 2006 6:18:59 GMT -5
Well over 25 Drake. More like 50. ^^ Anyway, the last chapter was one of the best in my opinion. Very rich in detail! ^^
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Post by Leoshi on Aug 15, 2006 23:25:23 GMT -5
Ok, I’m back yet again, everyone. Alright, this time, I got another piece, focusing on a different team. I hope you enjoy this one!
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Aside from the crash earlier that day, Teo and his own team had been progressing smoothly throughout the day. Nightfall fell, gradually bringing the storm along with it. Lava could tell that Teo’s flight was gradually becoming more shaky.
“Teo!” Lava called. “Let’s land, I can’t see that well.”
The dragon began to lose height, and veered off toward the right. He flew only a few feet off the ground, scanning the jungle for a nearby landing spot. After a minute or so, he spotted a small clearing of trees.
He began to fly back downward very quickly, to the surprise of Lava and his own friends.
“Careful, Teo!” Fantasy guy shouted.
“Yeah, it’s too early to get us killed, isn’t it?” Lava asked.
To spite them, Teo dove down another few feet very rapidly, causing a small commotion from the others.
“Ha ha ha…” Treyba laughed sarcastically.
As Teo came closer to the ground, Lava looked to the right, and spotted a small set of tribal houses nearby.
“Look, it’s some locals.” Lava said.
“This place has locals?” Velvet T asked.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
“This is all your fault.” LD growled.
Yoshee gave back a an equally angry expression. She would have tried to give him a whack, but her hands were restrained at the moment.
Just like her team, Yoshee’s hands were bound behind her back by one of the tribal toads. They were being lead away from the other camp and through the Jungle.
“This isn’t all of my fault.” Yoshee responded. “How was I supposed to know about this?”
“Well, if you’re so great as you claim you and your chao are-”
“LD, give it a rest.” Jay said. “You too, Yoshee. I’m getting a headache.”
Both of the chao were simply cadged, held by a taller one who kept them dangling over the others.
<Hey, Champ.> Charon asked.
<Yeah?>
<We’re obviously strong enough to break out. What are we doing in here?>
<Waiting until the right moment to break out and catch them by surprise.>
<Why not now?> Charon asked.
<This isn’t the right time, obviously.> Champ replied.
The tribal toads lead them deeper and deeper into the jungle. There was a series of huts, but in this section, they were all up in trees. They weren’t of the typical simple hut design either. Most of the huts had big skull designs carved in the doors. The straw that the huts were built out of looked more of a yellowish color then it looked like a typical brown. The roofs of the tree-huts looked to be made of actual cloth, the manufactured kind one would find in a store. Obviously, this wasn’t your usual cannibal tribe.
Finally, at the end of the path, their captors released Yoshee, LD, and Jay. The tallest one, who currently had the chao, however, did not release them.
“Hey!” Yoshee shouted. “You let them go!”
The taller captive shook his head, as if to say no in a very stubborn way.
<Don’t worry, I have a plan.> Champ said, directing his thought-speech specifically to her.
She still looked worried. “…but…”
Before there could be more protest, the taller one turned around, and proceeded off the path and into the forest, taking both of the chao into the depths of the jungle.
“Still think this was a great idea?” LD asked.
Yoshee, now free of the others hands, wanted to unleash all of her rage on him. “Won’t you shut up already?”
“Why should I?”
“Shut up.” Yoshee repeated herself.
Jay stood in between them. “Wouldn’t it just be easier if-”
“Not now, Jay!” Both Yoshee and LD said, pushing him out of the way. Jay was surprised to see them both resist him in such a manner. Figuring it was a hopeless cause, he stopped trying to end it and stood a decent few feet away from the other two.
As their argument went on, Jay took a quick scan of the area. It looked as though they were surrounded by trees. The pathways were so winding that it was impossible to see it go any rather then a few feet. This was an odd section of the village too, because there were huts in every surrounding tree.
“How weird.” Jay thought. “…this isn’t the kind of style of most tribes. I wonder, what if-”
“What’s the big deal?” LD asked. “I should be the upset one here!”
“Look, I just lost Charon and Champ.” Yoshee said. She poked him in the face, with enough force to make him back off. “This is not the best time to get me aggravated.”
“Why are you so bossy?”
“Because I’m the leader of this team!”
“If you are a leader, then lead us out of here.”
Jay tried to walk toward them. “Uh, guys…”
“There is no safe way out of here.” LD said.
“We’re not leaving without Champ and Charon!”
“Guys!”
“And another thing-”
“-cut it out-”
“Make me-”
“I will-”
“GUYS?!”
Both LD and Yoshee turned toward Jay. “Shut up already!”
“Fine!” Jay shouted, before turning around and sprinting away.
Yoshee and LD were a bit curious about why Jay had suddenly fled. Their argument dropped down to a silence. It was only with their lack of fighting that they could hear additional footsteps. Both of them looked back and saw another Toad. This one appeared the by the leader of the others, because other toads were following him tentatively. Additionally, the leader had a crown of feathers on his head. His spots were all brown as well.
The other toads were both swift and fast, for they had completely surrounded Yoshee and LD in one second. LD looked up and spotted some other toads, all watching the event from the tree huts.
The leader walked into the circle, and reached the two yoshis. He gave them both an angry expression. “What are you doing here?”
-----------------------------------------
Teo had finally landed on the ground. As soon as the others were off him, he transformed back into his Yoshi form, falling on the ground.
“Argh…” he moaned. “If I could be any more tired…”
“Tired?” Lava asked. “I’m wide awake!”
“I’ll bet you are.” Teo said.
Teo’s eyes were closed now, he was too exhausted to stay awake. That flight had completely worn him out.
“I think I’ll nod off too.” Fantasy Guy said.
“What?” Lava asked. “Is everyone just going to sleep now?”
“Yeah, we’re tired.” Velvet T responded, before lying down herself.
“That’s no fun.” Lava said. “I’m all awake.” Ironically, he gave a yawn.
“You ok?” Treyba asked.
“I’m… fine…”he spoke, his voice getting quieter. “I just need… a little…”
“…Lava?” Treyba asked. “Lav-”
He was interrupted by a snore. Lava had completely fallen asleep, and had done so while standing up, in all places.
“Lava…” Velvet T sighed, placing a hand on her head.
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Very short, yes, but that’s what I got for now. I can’t promise too much action in the next chapters, but there will be a whole bunch of twists. I’ll try to get it up as soon as I can.
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Post by eloeem on Aug 15, 2006 23:44:54 GMT -5
Nice Chapter, Leo... I wonder what will happen to Yoshee and the others TRIPLE BONUS MULTIPLIER ! !! I Can't WAIT!
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Post by Yoshiken on Aug 16, 2006 14:12:08 GMT -5
wow, this is starting to remind me of the movie Hidalgo for some reason ^^.
Awesome chapter! can't wait to see what happens to the teams XD.
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Aug 16, 2006 21:46:36 GMT -5
Champ could leave and never be noticed any time, haha. He has the power to turn invisible :<
Awesome job, though. I can't find much anything wrong with the conventions here, for one, which is a real improvement Double-scoop ice cream Oh noes, did Teo land in our part of the jungle? Where are Champ and Charon going? And I could totally kick L.D.'s butt anytime I wanted to at this point D= Especially with Champ and Charon "captured". I know perfectly well how strong Champ is, by the way.
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Post by Gene L.D. Ryoko on Aug 17, 2006 8:20:58 GMT -5
Champ could leave and never be noticed any time, haha. He has the power to turn invisible :< Awesome job, though. I can't find much anything wrong with the conventions here, for one, which is a real improvement <3 Oh noes, did Teo land in our part of the jungle? Where are Champ and Charon going? And I could totally kick L.D.'s butt anytime I wanted to at this point D= Especially with Champ and Charon "captured". I know perfectly well how strong Champ is, by the way. yoshee-dono please have mercy on my soul. good chapter, I just hope we survive our encounter. also, Leo, can you tone down my meanness abit, I am quite nice when not agravated.
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Post by Wildfire the Dragon on Aug 17, 2006 9:42:10 GMT -5
Heh, I hope you guys aren't mad at me for fleeing hehehe. ^^; Congrats on this being over 100 chapters Leo. You did a great Job on each and everyone of them. Keep it up Leo!
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Post by Teo on Aug 17, 2006 17:09:57 GMT -5
Once again, we have been graced by Leo!
And it seems I've been graced with some sleep time... but where? And how do we know which way we're going? Are we going to have two groups meet up? Oooo... that reminds me...
We haven't heard much about the book and what's happening there in a while... has no one tried to steal it?
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Hunter
New Yoshi
I need a Yoshi form D=
Posts: 33
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Post by Hunter on Aug 17, 2006 20:37:06 GMT -5
That was an awesome chapter, Leo! I could really imagine these yoshis argue and it still amazes me how you can play out all of these characters so wonderfully. Keep up that good work ^^
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Post by Leoshi on Aug 17, 2006 22:18:28 GMT -5
also, Leo, can you tone down my meanness abit, I am quite nice when not agravated. Yeah, I can. You character is just currently under a lot of aggrivation currently. We haven't heard much about the book and what's happening there in a while... has no one tried to steal it? Well, not yet. I still have the book, which has been kept unnoticed below deck through the venture. I'll reveal it later on, as well as another twist involving the book. And of course, thanks, everyone, for the continued encouragement and positive comments thusfar. I will not keep you waiting too long for the next one.
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Stevoshi
Junior Yoshi
We often fear what we do not understand. Our best defense... is knowledge.
Posts: 137
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Post by Stevoshi on Aug 18, 2006 22:33:14 GMT -5
Reading all the way up till now I have discovered that your writing is anything but simple! (according to what is below your avatar) The plot is very intense, exciting, and full of twists and surprises, there is never a dull moment. The amount of detail that you have added is absolutely phenomenal, I can easily picture every scene in my mind. The characters are very dynamic and entertaining, and the overall length of the story is absolutely staggering and is still going! You have quite a talent, and your story has my full attention. I eagerly await the next chapter!!! :-)
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Post by Lord of the Dance on Aug 18, 2006 22:37:05 GMT -5
Looks like Leoshi has another fan, haha.
Welcome to Yoshi's Corner, Stevoshi. I see you haven't really introduced yourself yet...
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Post by Leoshi on Aug 21, 2006 1:35:09 GMT -5
Ok, at long last, I have yet another prepared to post. And thanks, steveoshi, glad you like it. Enjoy, everyone!
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“Mr. proctor, I wouldn’t-”
“Of course you wouldn’t, that’s why you’re not the proctor!”
“Sir, please-”
“Jolene-”
“Enough is enough.” Jolene stated with a slightly stronger voice. “It’s been a full day now.” The two of them had been arguing all morning in the proctor’s office, back in the city.
“And you’re positive that we can’t find any of them?” the proctor asked.
“With 100% certainty, sir.” Jolene said, calming down. “…all 6 of the major contestants have vanished from the maps.”
“It’s going to be a draw if they all disappear.” the proctor said. “Jolene, pack your bags. We’re going to go in after them.”
“What?” she asked, with a tone of dismay. “But that goes against protocol!”
“So does a disappointing race.”
Her hands gripped. “But sir, they are going as fast as they possibly can, and they already have two days of traveling. There is no way we could catch up with them.”
“Then we will have to go the opposite way on the race, and try to catch them when they come toward us.”
“We could get killed!”
“No, we’ll fly there, with a chopper.”
“…fine, sir. But what happens to us will be your doing from here on out.” Jolene sighed.
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“AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
John, Yin, and Yoshifrog all shot up from their makeshift beds in the cavern, fully alert.
“What’s going on?!” Yin shouted.
Yoshiken and Yoshiko were both up, searching the cavern in a panicked fashion.
John’s eyes narrowed. “What’s the problem.”
“My blade!” Yoshiken shouted. “Somebody stole my blade!”
“Mine too!” Yoshiko responded.
John looked to his right, and then to his left in worry. As he did, his eyes widened. “That small gun thing I had is gone too!”
“…my kunei knife, and my 3 blades are gone!” Yin shouted.
Yoshifrog stood up as well. “And my… er… well ok, so I never had a weapon.”
All five of them looked toward one another. “We got robbed!”
Yoshiken looked the most upset though. “I’ll bet it was Zelek!” His expression was very serious. “That yoshi has gone too far!!”
“I thought they all got smashed earlier.” Yoshifrog said.
“And even if they did, how did they catch up?” Yoshiko asked.
“Don’t care.” Yoshiken said. “But we’re not going to race anywhere until we mind my katana!”
“But we’re in the lead!” Yoshifrog shouted. “Can’t we just by you a brand new katana?”
Yoshiken shot her back a very angry look, accompanied by looks from both Yin, and Yoshiko.
Yoshifrog knew she was no match. “Fine, fine, alright!”
The three of them all calmed down. John, meanwhile looked out of the entrance of the cave. “We can forget about winning now.”
“Not if we hurry!” Yoshiko shouted, rushing out of the save and back out into the jungle.
“You’re so impulsive.” John said.
Yoshiken and Yin also rushed out, at the same time. “I’m coming, Zelek!” Yoshiken shouted as he ran.
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There was no other sound, aside from the sizzling of breakfast over the open fire. Teo was up, bright and early. The light-blue dragon yoshi was at a makeshift stove, cooking some pancakes they had brought over a fire. Unlike him, his 4 teammates were fast asleep.
“How is it that I flew us so far, and they got more exhausted then me?” Teo asked.
At the same time, Teo looked at the frying pan, and gave it a small flip, turning over the pancakes as he did so. ‘So far, I haven’t done too much fighting.” he thought. “In fact, I’ve pretty much been their ride for half the time.”
The young dragon-morpher wasn’t too unhappy, working as his teams craft, though he still wanted to be more in the fray.
“Just being their lift isn’t too fun.”
<TEO!>
His eyes widened, and his teeth gritted. Teo, now in alert, turned backward, spotting Champ and Charon flying from out of the jungle. They looked rather beaten up, and a little tired.
“Whoa.” he commented, upon seeing them.
The two of them didn’t even try to land. With a quick whomp!, them hit the grass, right near Teo. Teo let the frying pan on the fire, and then turned toward the two chao.
“What happened?” Teo asked.
<We got attacked!> Champ shouted. <And they took Jay, LD, and Yoshee!>
Teo’s eyes narrowed, both of his hands becoming fists. Champ and Charon both gasped upon seeing his serious expression.
<…but, we managed to break free.> Charon said. <As soon as they dropped their guard, we broke free from our cages and came here.>
“Cages?!” he shouted. “Where?” Teo asked. By the tone of his voice, it was obvious that he knew something terrible was going on.
<…in there.> Champ said, directing them toward the heart of the jungle. In the village with the tree huts.
Teo nodded. “You two stay right here. In your condition, going anywhere isn’t an option.”
<Ok.> Champ said, with a simple relaxed voice.
<What about the others?> Charon asked.
“This will only take five minutes.” Teo said, cracking his knuckles. “I’ll be back before they wake up!”
Without another moment to spare, Teo raced into the jungle as fast as he could run, completely forgetting that he had left the fire unoccupied.
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Midnight‘s eyes narrowed. “…what?”
“Hunter is gone!” Yoshark repeated. “He vanished from his post!”
“Is this a joke?” Midnight asked.
Shez sighed. “He doesn’t have wings. He couldn’t have just flown off.”
“Maybe he fell off the ship last night?” Yoshark said. “This is horrible…”
“I know.” Kator nodded.
“You three get back to your posts.” Midnight said to her remaining crew.
“But Midnight, should we search the grounds for him?” Shez asked.
“I’ll take care of finding Hunter personally. Everyone else, get back to your positions.” Midnight said.
Without waiting for their response, she walked out of the room and slammed the door on them.
“I know you did this, Moshi.” Midnight thought. “Next time our ships meet, I’m not going to hold back.”
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There was, at very first darkness. Hunter felt like he was drifting in blank space, gently rocking back and forth.
“Hunter…”
He could hear the voice calling him from far away. The confused little lion cub could only continue to look into darkness.
“Hunter…?” this time, it was more clear, and yet, very far away.
“…yes?” Hunter mumbled.
“HUNTER!! HUNTER!”
Hunter’s eyes opened up. Moshi was standing over him, shaking him a bit. “HUNTER, WAKE UP!!”
“WAAA!!” Hunter shouted. “I’m awake, I’m awake!”
Moshi sighed and let him go, taking the sheets off of the beds as he did so. “Finally. Everyone else has already gone up to eat. If you don’t come soon, you’ll miss breakfast.”
With that, the rough yoshi walked out of the quarters room and slammed the door shut.
Hunter looked up and sighed. “She’s not too different then Midnight.” he said aloud.
“Yeah, she can be tough.” a voice replied.
Hunter gasped and looked toward a bookshelf, jumping out of the bed, and knocking some of the pillows away with his cone. “Who’s there?”
“Me.”
The voice was coming from a yoshi doll that was sitting at the top of the shelf.
“You?!” Hunter shouted, pointing at the doll.
“Yes. Sorry about my odd introduction, I know this must be awkward.” the doll responded. “My name is Merrier, and I have been staying aboard as a guest.”
Hunter gave back a startled expression, bearing no words of response. “…that plushie is talking to me.” he thought. “I’m still dreaming, right?”
Hunter quickly gave himself a bonk on the head. “Wake up, Hunter.” he said.
“You’re not dreaming, really.” Merrier said. “I’m under a curse.”
“…a curse?” Hunter asked.
“Believe me, it’s a long story.” Merier said.
“What are you doing here?” Hunter asked.
“I’m staying with them, because they offered to try to turn me back into a yoshi.” he replied. “What’s your story?”
“HUNTER!” Moshi called from above deck.
“Never you mind.” Merier said. “Best to head up there before she comes down here.”
“Er, right!” Hunter said, taking off towards the door.
“See ya.” Merier said.
“These people are insane.” Hunter thought, as he gave one last look at the doll, before rushing out the door.
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“Chain… chain… oh, shoot!” Leoshi thought.
He spent all night at one of the tables in the dining chamber. And yet, he still couldn’t decipher the next phrase of the book. “The first word is chain, but what is this next one?”
Leoshi was interrupted by a loud slam, as Yapi threw her plate nearby him. He gave a jump, which was unnoticed by everyone else. “Now this looks good!”
There was a waffle and a bowl of cereal on her dish, which she promptly sat next to.
“It is pretty good, you know.” Eloeem said. He finished his plate in one gulp, and held out the empty dish toward Moshi. “More, please!”
“What do I look like?” Moshi asked, with a raised eyebrow.
Spider was enjoying his own food while drawing a sketch, humming a tune as he did so.
It was about then that Hunter reached the peak of the stair that lead into the dining room. The morning sun was shining through the large windows, showing off the luxurious chamber of the room. Hunter quietly sat down next to Leoshi.
“Hey… that’s a cool looking book.” Hunter said.
“Don’t be deceived by it.” Moshi said. “That thing is the whole reason we’re all in this mess.”
“Really?” Hunter asked, with a curious voice and expression. “Can you tell me about it?”
Leoshi looked down. “Well…”
“To be honest, I know more about it then he does.” Moshi said.
“But it’s this Leoshi’s story?” Eloeem asked.
Leoshi sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell you.”
Hunter smiled, and grabbed a seat.
Moshi sighed, and walked away from the table, as Leoshi began. She decided that it was about time for some fresh air anyway.
Moshi proceeded through the door, and walked out, greeting both the winds and the cool temperatures. The deck was still wet from the rain last night, though everything was much calmer now, since they used Hunter’s blanket to sow up the sail.
No sooner did Moshi get out, she could hear guns cocking.
“MOSHIIIIIII!!!”
Towering proudly over the Majestuosa was Midnight, perched on the highest deck of her battle ship. All of the ship’s cannons were directed right at Moshi, who has retained a blank expression the entire time.
With a plain expression, she placed her hands on her hips and sighed. “What?”
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And that will be just about all for this time, guys. I’ll try to get more done as soon as I find the time for it. Yoshee, LD, and Jay, sorry for not having you in this one, but the next one will have more focus on you. And, for those of you who still aren’t looking forward to the next chapter, I’m going to add another member into the midst of the story (at their request). Next time should introduce (or at least hint at) this member’s arrival.
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Hunter
New Yoshi
I need a Yoshi form D=
Posts: 33
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Post by Hunter on Aug 21, 2006 15:29:41 GMT -5
This chapter is great and it really made my morning! Seems like I repeat myself when it comes to commenting, but, I can not find anything wrong with any of your chapters. Each chapter brings more joy everytime I read them, and I await as patient as I can for the next one. Always keep in mind, Leoshi, that you are doing a teriffic job. It's really cool that we are now starting to learn more about that book you have.
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